It’s a gray dawn in Seychelles, appropriate for Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.
As a child, I dreaded this day, as it usually meant an early Mass on an empty stomach in a very crowded church that more than once resulted in passing out cold as I waited in the long queue to get ashed. Of course, it also meant the giving up of something I’d deemed of great value for all of 40 days.
This year, Mass is out, as I no longer deal with those issues and canceled my subscription many years ago, so don’t need those ashes.
Oh, no. I have my own.
The taste of ash is strong in my mouth today, as I’ve been spending too much time lately learning just how thoroughly I was raked over the coals, but this has dictated my Lenten sacrifice.
Yep. I’m giving up men for Lent.
From now until Easter I will not allow a thought of romance, a flash of attraction, a longing for touch, a regret over lost love to linger for more than the instant it will takes to wipe it from my head. I will waste no time missing any man from my past nor holding hopes of future connections. I will satisfy myself by and with myself, and I will take comfort only from those whose link to maleness in my regard is either nonexistent or inconsequential.
I will expect no reward of bounty when Easter arrives, but rather hope that by then my cravings have been tamped down to the point that only the most vigorous … and deserving … blast will bring on even the slightest explosion. In other words, I hope to gain something approaching temperance.
“Temperance is moderation in the things that are good and total abstinence from the things that are foul.”
~ Frances E. Willard
I’m not saying I’ll be avoiding men, as that’s simply not a possibility in life outside a convent, and I have no intention of substituting one habit for another, and I will continue to interact with, and appreciate members of the gender … that would be those who sport a member, but I’ll be ignoring that fact … with deep respect as fellow humans. Maleness in general, however gets a complete pass.
So, with ashes on my tongue I begin a Lenten season of dedication to self combined with acts of penance and charity that will include the giving of my time to others whose ashes taste much like mine.
Yes, on a gray Ash Wednesday morning, I throw off the shackles of a much-enjoyed compulsion and look forward to 40 days of prayer and peace.
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
Paradise Preoccupied 
considered giving up facebook for lent, but nah. wishing you luck on giving up the men/romance thing, hope it provides some clarity.
Thanks, Amy. It will be a breeze … a fresh, cleansing breeze after what I’ve been dealing with.
go for it!
Sandra, I wish you all the best through 40 days of dedication to self, prayer and peace.
I found that dedication to self is SO important. I’ve been practicing meditation and present moment awareness as taught by spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle. I have to say that it is helping me work through physical pain episodes to the point where I didn’t have to resort to medication. The pain left on its own. Though, I’ve got a ways to go yet. Normally, I have weekly injections for RA disease, but I haven’t felt like I need to get one now for about 8 or 9 wks. Energy work, supplements,dietary changes and meditation is helping greatly. I will say that it is a challenge to stay habitual about it, but I just keep trying. Maybe one day, I’ll have a whole new body.
I remember the ashes well being that I had to walk around all day with that cross on my forehead.
then breathe deeply!
Good luck on all you endeavors, hmm maybe I should do the same.
Good luck! Not an option for me at the moment – 🙂 – the battle continues so I will be physically remote form my man, but emotionally and psychologically right in there. The final stages are upon us!
And good luck to you, Girl! Fingers crossed here for both of you.