Robbie ... a photo of an old friend, by an old friend ...
My brother once remarked, perhaps disparagingly, that there is NO ONE I won’t talk to. Although that’s not completely accurate, I do believe that I can learn something through conversations with most people, even if we don’t happen to speak a common language.
So, no surprise that I’ve taken to online social networks like a termite to timber. Not only have platforms like facebook, myspace and Twitter allowed me to reconnect with friends I’d thought I’d lost forever, new people have come into my life … people I don’t want to imagine being without.
I hadn’t spoken to my high school bud, Virginia in 30-some years, but now we’re in touch almost daily. Robbie, my bbff and neighbor in a previous life had all but disappeared from my radar until he joined fb and skype, but we now wet ourselves on a regular basis and give each other stomach cramps from the laughs we share.
My cyber sister, Jo, and I have never met, but our lives intersect sometimes hourly, and I’ve yet to meet anyone who thinks my exact thoughts as often as she does.
Thanks to the Internet, my love life is … well … lovely, or as lovely as long distance relationships can be.
A week or so ago I trimmed my facebook friend list by 100, as I’ve arbitrarily set a max of 500 and had exceeded that limit. I’m already back up to 450, so I may have to up my quota, but even though this can stretch me a bit thin I do have some level of closeness to each and every one of the people who poke and chat and banter and comment on my status as if they cared.
My up-close-and-in-person friend clan is large, too, and even though scattered around the world, we remain close. I’ve not seen Michael in years, nor Magnar in months, but I have a pretty good idea of what’s up with them, and they with me.
Turns out, that all this friend stuff may keep me and my friends alive.
As this article in the NYT reports, that’s just what friends do.
Researchers are only now starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health. A 10-year Australian study found that older people with a large circle of friends were 22 percent less likely to die during the study period than those with fewer friends.
And luckily for some of us, the role of friends is even more important than that of a spouse.
Bella DePaulo, a visiting psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, whose work focuses on single people and friendships, notes that in many studies, friendship has an even greater effect on health than a spouse or family member. In the study of nurses with breast cancer, having a spouse wasn’t associated with survival.
(I think I’ll tattoo that somewhere: … having a spouse isn’t associated with survival. Funny thing is, that’s exactly what all my friends told me when Mark bailed, bless them!)
Anyway …
Friends. I love mine.
Now, if I could only get that damned Rembrandts song out of my head …
Photo credit: Trudy Fisher
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
Paradise Preoccupied 
wells said Sandra, I find myself on social networks everytime I am not busy at work, and have reconnected with primary and high school friends from Kenya that I thought I’d never see or talk to again.
Yep. Love this time we live in.
Now if someone would just invent that beamy-uppy thing …
OMG This is almost the exact conversation I had with Steve this morning over breakfast. I’m trying to get him and Selena to join Facebook and all the benefits to it. All my reasons and points for argument you pretty much covered. I may just send them this blog. Scary! Are you sure we weren’t separated at birth?
Funny, I just took a little personal inventory last night. I never thought myself very good at making friends (I’m sure you and a few readers understand why). As it turns out, I had to remove my socks to count the ones I knew would stop me from jumping off a bridge. They’re all long distance and would have to skype/phone it in but, thanks to modern technology they are still very much a part of my day-to-day.
Yep. Love this time we live in.
Thanks for being a friend. 🙂
[…] 27, 2009 by Sandra Hanks Benoiton Having written yesterday about the importance of friends, I thought I’d post a few photos today of me with some of the more recent additions to the […]
I am SO grateful that you found me after so many years. You are such an important part of my life now, I don’t know what I would do without you.
It sometimes saddens me to think of all the years of love and friendship that I missed out on. But getting to know you again is one of the most wonderful experiences I’ve ever had in my life, and fills me with joy.
You’ve made me laugh so hard I’ve nearly fallen out of my chair, and I’ve cried along with you during times of sorrow.
I hang on to every word you write, because you are so precious. So incredibly intellegent and funny.
My heart is full….thank you for being such a wonderful, loving friend.
Your post made me think that I had best say hello to all my online friends, maybe it will extend my crazy life an extra 30 days per the NYT report?
Anyway, thinking of you here often, even if I never am able to get online much anymore to let you know.
Deb
We do care! the internet is truly an awesome thing. I knew you were my kind of peeps first time I saw that awesome photo of Sam pretending to be a chimp or whatever. and then the stir it caused, oh my! just like something one of my kids would do. Love you Sandra!
You are all treasures!
Dear Sandra, I am a new friend of Robbie, who I met at an outdoor concert, and because, like you, I will talk to anybody and everybody, and that is how I met Robbie. When you said that about yourself I really had to laugh. And I am adopted and have an adopted daughter, and after my mother died I learned she had had a child and given it up for adoption. Which was really quite shocking to learn , because of course I couldn’t talk to her about it, at least on this Earthly side. So, being the completely shy type, let’s be friends! Kathy
Absolutely, Kathy. We have a LOT in common!