Am I the only liberal, snotty, angst-ridden, happily married, over-fifty woman in the world who gets the screaming steaming thigh sweats over Bill Maher, or just one of a legion of middle-aged malcontents getting all hot and bothered to the strains of common sense wrapped in a manly, no bullshit package that seems as much a gift as a heart-shaped box of chocolates?
Since I don’t live on a part of the planet that get Maher-ified often … the occasional appearance on Larry King Live when that’s timed to air in our tiny CNN window in Seychelles is all I ever have available … it’s impossible for me to guess how his cute little pinched look, receding hairline and flat East Coast accent goes over in the US. I know he’s been around a while and is a hit, but do millions of American women there lie back, close their eyes and think of Comedy Central when their fire needs a stoking? I’m curious.
I don’t usually have ‘things’ for comics … musicians historically having the greatest likelihood of weakening my knees … since brash and edgy most often come across as cold and distant, and that just doesn’t wind my bathtub toy. I thought Dave Letterman was cute for a while, but then I met him.
(An aside … My mom was on Letterman’s show once when one of the other guests was Marilyn Manson. She thought he was ‘a very nice young man’. When I asked if he appeared to her as at all odd, she said, “No odder than some of the friends you used to bring home.”
Like I said, there are musicians in my past … sigh … )
But the Bill Maher tingles … what are those about?
Could it be I find him Electra-fying? He does have a nose very much like my darling father’s … stately, pominent and occupying a lot of face space … and in fact Bill (Do I dare call him Bill?) grows to more resemble my dad with every sporatic viewing I’m allowed.
Whoa! If this is some version of “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” I’d better start hunting for a towel to throw in, because I’ll be done with having sexual fantasies FOREVER.
Stepping back from the brink of Freudian slippery slopes, I’ll get to why Bill Maher has me thinking today that jumping his bones would be a pursuit worth getting lathered up for … this from the Huff Post — a blog from Bill on South Carolina’s plan to allow concealed weapons on school campuses, and a sexy piece of writing it is.
Linking sex to violence is so hot.
In South Carolina you need to be 21 to get a concealed weapon permit. So the undergrads wouldn’t be armed. Just the teachers and grad students. So it wouldn’t actually stop anyone like the Virginia Tech shooter, until he worked his way up from the sophomores and stopped to re-load, but here I am applying practical logic to an argument made by guys who come in their pants when they hear the words “muzzle velocity.”
Sharp witted, brilliant, caustic … and, yes, brash and edgy, but with such a hefty dose of musth in his take down that instead of cold and distant he seems hot and close enough to be breathing on the back of my neck.
Whew.
Anyone have a cigarette?
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
Paradise Preoccupied 
Oh, Sandra, you are so funny.
Dear writer (Sandra),
I am a 23-year-old gay man, and after seeing Bill Maher on Leno tonight, I searched for “bill maher is hot” on Google. I am a member of the search the web whilst simultaneously drunk and watching the tele demographic. I am writing to applaud your dissertation on why Bill Mahar is in fact hot. Thank you for qualifying my sexual urges and continue to write!
Love,
David
David,
Happy to be of service, but I suspect that you, like me, would rather be “serviced” by Mr. Maher!
I’m only a teenager and I think he’s absolutely smokin!
I’m 16 years old, female. I think He’s hot, too!
He’s so smart. I love smarts.
Bill is a hot piece of ass, I want him in my corner. I’m 21.
32 years of age, and to me he’s hot.
He appeals to all ages … whew .. hubbahubba
dude i’m only fourteen fuckin years old and i think this dude is beyond hot. 🙂
I’m 27 and…Wow, yeah, you definitely hit THAT nail on the head. He isn’t just attractive, but intelligent and funny (and yes, the nose…my bo has a nose residing in most of his “face space” too!) He tells it like it is and I would think he has every liberal, weed-smoking chick flustered beyond her normally chill demeanor. 😉
I doubt he has Sarah Palin types panting … but, then again, what could?
He’s alright…I’m more into Colbert, Jon Stewart, and (the hottest) Anderson Cooper.
AC is SO. HOT.
15 years old here, but those men…mmmmm.
Anderson Cooper? Whatever spins your globe, Stephanie …
Haha, again, my thanks for the comment on an oldie but goodie post I’d likely not have read without it.
I too “love” Bill Maher but am disheartened to read David Letterman was cute til you met him : (
Sigh…
Thanks! Yeah … Letterman is just a bit of an ass …
And here I thought I was the only one!!! I would definitely jump his bones anytime……..mmmmmmmm …..47 here!!
You are not alone …
Thanks for stopping by the blog and admiring him with me.
Oh yeah 😉 he’s so hot. And funny and smart. The whole package. I definitely agree with the person who said Colbert turns them on too. Something about witty comedians…
It’s that edgy thing …
He is so sexy, I’d tap that, and I’m a girl in my early 20s, it’s not so much his looks that make him attractive, it’s his attitude and confidence and personality. What can I say? I love center-left, sometimes conservative, libertarians like myself 😛
I dont know why but he is just perfect (in a not so perfect kinda way).Hes rell and blut and that kinda persanality is so atractive 2 me
mariah.14
Oh yeah.I absolutely agree with all. Bedroom Bill and Keith ‘the beast under the sheet’ Olbermann both.Sigh.Just dream of them 69ing each other.And then in comes Chris ‘leg shivering’ Matthews carrying Sean ‘taco marathon eating’ Hannity.Glen ‘Multiple O’ Beck splashes in and this hyper hot orgy of hot,hot men climaxes with Rachel ‘longer and hairier than Ron Burgundy’ Maddow entering and teabagging all of them.Wow! A woman can only dream of being the midst of these talkshow studs.Ohhhh I need a cigarette and an abortion kit.
Twice my age and I would still like myself piece of that. It is the edgy thing that does it for me 🙂 I find Jon Stewart very sexi too.
So I’m not alone! 19 here and I cannot tell you how hot/attractive I think he is!
16 here and I find him totally hot as well as Jon Stewart. I reckon it’s the sarcasm that does it.
Just saw him live and yes he is hot!!! I think it’s the smart , witty, sharp tongue that does it for me. I think that is why I live Jon Stewart and like others here did like David Letterman (the cheating And the fact that he might b an ass has turned me off). A smart man is hot
I met Letterman a few times and he is an ass. With you on Bill and Jon.
Girl u are not alone! He is sooo hot! His long hair slicked back and his little hands. Yummmmmmmmmmm 😍😍😍 Everytime I see him its like fangirl time! I’m 17 and he’s 59… Maybe we can make it work when I’m 18 and he’s 60 😂
I’m so happy to see I’m not alone, not only about Bill but also Jon and Stephen!! All three are soooo hot and no doubt it’s their smart, witty demeanors that lure me in.