Archive for April 22nd, 2009

I’ve had about enough of the blah blah on the UN’s Racist on Parade Fiasco. Even though taking that group to task is a favored topic, I do have others.

Penises, for example.

It wasn’t all that long ago that the favorite appendage of males came up here … on the blog, I mean … and, golly gee! here it comes again.

Today’s ejaculatory comment … that would be the “golly gee!” … is inspired by this tasty little tidbit from the BBC titled: Condoms ‘too big’ for Indian men.

Not big as in so-popular-they-just-can’t-get-enough, but rather big as in are-you-happy-to-see-me-or-is-that-a-derringer-in-your-pocket.

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

Hmmmm. Where to begin …

Okay … here’s a thought … I wonder how many of those 1,000 men are admitting to being part of the survey, and can’t help but go down the road of imagining how it was conducted.

Were these guys simply asked, “Hey, Dude, how long is your schlong?”, or was there actual measuring involved … and if so, under what conditions? (I’m guessing there’d be no problem lining up volunteers if it was made clear that the only accurate readings involved some fluffing.)

Now that that’s out of my system, spending a few lines on the very real problems ill-fitting condoms cause sounds like the right thing to do since India has the highest number of new HIV infections in the world at the moment and an incredibly high birth rate. WIth a good part of the reasons being that one in five of the things used in that country either tear or fall off, giving men the latte grande mug instead of the espresso thimble isn’t doing anyone any favors.

There are options, but …

“Smaller condoms are on sale in India. But there is a lack of awareness that different sizes are available. There is anxiety talking about the issue. And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist’s shop and ask for a smaller size condom.”

And that’s about the size of it in a nutshell. Not only does there need to be concern about protection from STDs and unwanted pregnancies, there’s that ever-so-delicate ego that needs covering, too, and it seems that might be the bigger motivation when hitting the johnny shop.

Guys! Guys! I’ve done a study myself and am here to tell you that it really ain’t the meat, but the motion … well, the motion including all the extras. (An, no, I will not be releasing info on those who stepped up to take part in my survey, although I will reveal that they were pretty close to unanimous on the “what it really takes to rock my boat and keep it floating” answers.)

That, guys, is the meat of the matter, not the version given by a dude who used to be an editor for an Indian men’s mag who said …

“It’s not size, it’s what you do with it that matters,” he said. “From our population, the evidence is Indians are doing pretty well.

If “what you do with it” is simply passing along a packet of genetic material, that’s one thing … hey! you can phone that in … but it seems to be missing the point completely, since knocking someone up and curling a girl’s toes are far too often two different things.

And if it’s not the toe-curling bit that men fret about, why the big deal about a little deal?

I know some people are making a fortune off the “add a foot to your dick” ads that spam the world, but for most of us girls, that just doesn’t conjure any image we find stimulating.

It must be a guy thing …

Anyone else wonder how much peeking goes really on in the gents?

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