I’ve had about enough of the blah blah on the UN’s Racist on Parade Fiasco. Even though taking that group to task is a favored topic, I do have others.
Penises, for example.
It wasn’t all that long ago that the favorite appendage of males came up here … on the blog, I mean … and, golly gee! here it comes again.
Today’s ejaculatory comment … that would be the “golly gee!” … is inspired by this tasty little tidbit from the BBC titled: Condoms ‘too big’ for Indian men.
Not big as in so-popular-they-just-can’t-get-enough, but rather big as in are-you-happy-to-see-me-or-is-that-a-derringer-in-your-pocket.
A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.
The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.
Hmmmm. Where to begin …
Okay … here’s a thought … I wonder how many of those 1,000 men are admitting to being part of the survey, and can’t help but go down the road of imagining how it was conducted.
Were these guys simply asked, “Hey, Dude, how long is your schlong?”, or was there actual measuring involved … and if so, under what conditions? (I’m guessing there’d be no problem lining up volunteers if it was made clear that the only accurate readings involved some fluffing.)
Now that that’s out of my system, spending a few lines on the very real problems ill-fitting condoms cause sounds like the right thing to do since India has the highest number of new HIV infections in the world at the moment and an incredibly high birth rate. WIth a good part of the reasons being that one in five of the things used in that country either tear or fall off, giving men the latte grande mug instead of the espresso thimble isn’t doing anyone any favors.
There are options, but …
“Smaller condoms are on sale in India. But there is a lack of awareness that different sizes are available. There is anxiety talking about the issue. And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist’s shop and ask for a smaller size condom.”
And that’s about the size of it in a nutshell. Not only does there need to be concern about protection from STDs and unwanted pregnancies, there’s that ever-so-delicate ego that needs covering, too, and it seems that might be the bigger motivation when hitting the johnny shop.
Guys! Guys! I’ve done a study myself and am here to tell you that it really ain’t the meat, but the motion … well, the motion including all the extras. (An, no, I will not be releasing info on those who stepped up to take part in my survey, although I will reveal that they were pretty close to unanimous on the “what it really takes to rock my boat and keep it floating” answers.)
That, guys, is the meat of the matter, not the version given by a dude who used to be an editor for an Indian men’s mag who said …
“It’s not size, it’s what you do with it that matters,” he said. “From our population, the evidence is Indians are doing pretty well.
If “what you do with it” is simply passing along a packet of genetic material, that’s one thing … hey! you can phone that in … but it seems to be missing the point completely, since knocking someone up and curling a girl’s toes are far too often two different things.
And if it’s not the toe-curling bit that men fret about, why the big deal about a little deal?
I know some people are making a fortune off the “add a foot to your dick” ads that spam the world, but for most of us girls, that just doesn’t conjure any image we find stimulating.
It must be a guy thing …
Anyone else wonder how much peeking goes really on in the gents?
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
Paradise Preoccupied 
I’m sure they had no problem at all getting volunteers because guys love doing anything that involves their penis.
I thought the “add a foot to your dick” was a foot fetish site I guess I have to go back and take a look. 🙂
My thoughts on this flow to China…I wonder if they are about the same size as your average Chinese men? Perhaps they should buy them from China then……I must say I would prefer to see the rocket in the pocket…size matters to me…=)))
This is classic!!!!!!!!!!!!
For some odd reason I couldn’t resist a reply. What exactly is the percentage of people surveyed in comparison to india’s actual population. 1000 out of ??? million? Then is the problem with condom size related to the thickness of the penis? or the length?. What should be applauded here is, that someone was willing to attempt to do some research on issues relating to sexual topics in such an oppressed, poverty riddled society where prosyitution is rampant in a country where moral and ethical standards are extremely outdated.In a world that is controlled by men, for men, about men any mention of the penis grabs mens attention. The penis, is after all, mans most cherrished possession. Awareness, education, conversation and properly fitting condoms helps to control and stem the spread of HIV as well as other STD’s and this is good for the people of India no matter “how big the schlong”.
I also don’t understand the value of addressing the fluffing aspect of this unless you can provide the statistics reflecting the ratio of men that required or requested to be fluffed in order to exact accurate results needed to complete the survey. I’m quite certain that the scope of the participants would have been greatly increased had it been advertised that female fluffers would be on hand (pun Intended) for participants in need.
You want ME to “provide the statistics reflecting the ratio of men that required or requested to be fluffed”?
Given the fact that the BBC didn’t bother, and the tone of this post, I can’t help wondering what that’s about.
I, too, noticed that girth apparently didn’t get much play in the study, but decided out of hand not to touch that and give it a wide berth.
Wake up, wankers!
Two words:
Gene Simmons.
Thank you very much.
While design flaws with Condoms in India would be a big issue (AIDS / Pregnancy as stated in the post) – I thought Condoms were based on Girth rather than Length? While I understand that having a shorter tool probably means a thinner one in many cases, it seems foolish to do a study on condom effectiveness using penis length (doesn’t affect the condom) rather than girth (does affect the condom)
Furthermore, if it is the case that men in India have smaller penises, why not just rebrand small condoms as normal size? It’s a difficult area to market in properly and Size is relative – it’s like if they sold Extra-Large condoms in the UK as Normal size – we’d have the same thing going on (lots of slipping condoms and guys too embarassed to buy ‘small’ condoms)
What a practical, well-thought solution this is, Random. Thanks. Just get the condom companies to do the same thing women have done for centuries … call it not how ya see it in favor of giving the ego a bit of a pump.