Archive for December 10th, 2007

Through an interesting set of circumstances, it came to pass that we had the wonderful opportunity to spend a lot of time this weekend with our former foster son, T.

He doesn’t like that designation, actually, and suggests that there is no “former” about our relationship and that he will always be our foster son, with the emphasis on “son”.

He no longer calls me Mom … I’m Sandra now … but my title is most definitely “Foster Mom”.

I’m still processing two days and one night with a mix of kids that felt so normal, so right, that the thought of it not happening again is almost more than all of us can bear, so I’ll not yet be writing a lot about weekend. Photos will have to do, for the most part.

Mark’s sister’s daughter, Emilie, was with us at the beach … that’s her peeking out from behind T and me in one shot and walking along the beach with T and Cj. At one point, she and T spend a good deal of time in deep conversation. Another little girl you’ll see more of tomorrow, a bit miffed at being left out, began teasing them about “liking each other”, but the taunt had no impact.

Eventually, it was time for dinner, so T and Emilie joined the group again, but T took me aside.

“Is Emilie really Mark’s niece?” he asked.

I answered to the affirmative and explained the familial relationship.

“Wow!” T said as a huge grin broke out across his darling face. “That means she’s my foster cousin!”

The next morning, he approached Mark’s mother, explained the connection and asked if he could call her “Grandma”.

Family is very important to this boy, and with his bio relations leaving much to be desired I am so happy he continues to take whatever he can from the tenuous, fragile and far too easily manipulated connection to ours.

Some words of wisdom from this nine-year-old wonder …
As I slipped into an emotional trough on Saturday at the thought of this time being our last together, possibly forever, T put his hand on my shoulder and explained carefully, “In my experience, it’s better if you don’t think about endings. Think about middles.”

T reaching out to me …
Reaching T

T and me, and Emilie, too …
T and M, and Emilie, too

An evening stroll for Emilie, Cj, T and Jamie …
Walking the beach kids

The kids and Grandma’s mac&cheese. Note the similarity between T and Sam! Goodballs!
Kids eating Grandma’s mac & cheese

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