Some days my life seems like one big pile of poop.
I’m not speaking metaphorically here, by the way. No, it’s real poop that sometimes surrounds me on every front … like I’m sitting in a giant crap caldera. Take today, for example …
It began with me hurrying into the shower with an eye toward starting off fresh rather than spending the entire day in my jammies, only to discover a hefty deposit of cat excrement in the corner. Oh, joy! The smell, the smell!. Even after dousing the tiles with bleach and scrubbing away, the pong still pinged, creating a pungent undertone my sweet orange and cedar body scrub couldn’t begin to mask.
Moving right along, Cj managed two … count ’em, two … huge diaper-fulls (diapers-full?) within about an hour this morning, the second happening sometime after I’d put her down for her nap. She naps in my office, the only room in the house with air conditioning, which means it’s cool and quiet, and shut up tighter than a drum. Sound cozy? Well, it is, and it hangs on to odors for ever. A drop of rose oil can keep the room invitingly fragrant for days … unfortunately, a half-pound of poop lasts even longer.
It’s now eight hours later and my eyes still water when I walk in. Phew! The lingering aroma of Cj’s nap time pooh may, just may, dissipate by tomorrow morning if I keep the door open all night. (That, unfortunately, has previously proved to appear an invitation for a cat to evacuate bowels in a new and exciting atmosphere … a potential eventuality that would defeat the purpose entirely.)
And, of course, we have puppy. Not our puppy. Well, she’s not meant to be ours for long. She was born to our dog, Dinah, and will soon find a new home with my dear friend, Gay.
But Gay is in France right now, driving around Province with her mother and sister, eating great food and enjoying the printemps du France rather than housebreaking her puppy.
Hence … and I do love ‘hence’ … her dog is shitting in my house — a lot!
I’ve picked up at least five piles of puppy poop today alone, and I have no doubt there will be more before the day is done.
A gecko shat on my shoulder while I blogged away on the veranda … Cj had my office, you see.
An Indian Mynah … a noisy and obnoxious pest of an introduced species of bird … buzz-bombed me and missed plopping on me and my computer by inches.
Darn good thing that our Aldabra Giant Tortoise doesn’t come in the house very often.
And that has been my day.
Ever find yourself praying for constipation?
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
Paradise Preoccupied 