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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Okay … here’s the deal … or some of it

Posted in Adoption, Children, Family, International Adoption, Island life, Older women, Seychelles on October 8, 2008| 5 Comments »

So, there’s a new computer on the way, and in the meantime I’m using Sam’s. It does the job, thankfully. It’s Gay’s old one … another Mac, of course … so I’m able to do most of what I could do before, but am reticent to pack it full of my stuff when its real duty is to let my son draw and paint and play “Green Eggs & Ham” endlessly.

That’s for starters …

Moving right along, if you’re a facebook friend of mine you already know that I’m madly in love and within days of living happily ever after. Yep. That light at the end of the tunnel I thought was nothing more than the headlights of an approaching train turns out to be the brightest point of a very bright future. Wow. I’m stunned and can’t wipe the silly grin off my face. Details to follow.

And … learned today that Mark’s girlfriend is 7 months pregnant, which means she managed to purchase her insurance policy minutes after he moved out of the house. I’ve wished him well and offered to babysit.

Sam and Cj are doing well, and although it’s not been easy getting the ground under their feet to steady, it’s been so worth it. Cj is loving school. Sam is brilliant, as always. Both are movin’ with the groovin’.

The wrap? Life doesn’t suck, after all, and it often makes a lot of sense when you look at it backwards.

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Another bump in the road

Posted in Family, Seychelles on September 28, 2008| 6 Comments »

Ack! My computer has suffered some sort of failure that makes it impossible for me to access anything! Just what I need right now. Great.

Magnar the magnificent assures me that nothing is actually lost and that he will be able to take what I need and get it onto another computer soon, so I’m not to panic. Yeah. Right.

If you’re someone in personal contact, bear with me for a while as this situation gets sorted. Readers who just pop by occasionally are probably already accustomed to irregular posting patterns lately, so will not notice any difference.

I actually have SO much to write about these days, but am not quite ready to share yet. Soon, but not yet, so stay tuned.

Will say that the kids are doing very well in school. Cj cried the first few days, then took to informing me on the drive in whether or not she would be in the mood to shed a few tears as I left. She’s loving it, though, and comes home happy, full of new songs and stories of her day. Sam is, of course, overjoyed to be back at it, and his reading has already improved tremendously after just a couple of weeks. His friends are happy to be in contact again, and he’s having a wonderful time.

I’m now beginning my first week in months off. The kids are with Mark for 10 days straight, and I’m hoping this becomes a regular monthly routine. They need time with him, he needs time with them, and I need a break from the 4-hour M-F drive to school and some “me” time. (More on what I’m doing with my “me” time in a future post.)

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Kids, school and other stuff

Posted in Adoption, Cambodia, Children, Family, Fun, International Adoption, Island life, NaBloPoMo, Seychelles, tagged , , on September 19, 2008| 9 Comments »

Cj and Sam on the first day of school

Cj and Sam on the first day of school

Apologies to all who follow me here, as I know I’ve been remiss in updates lately. No excuses, aside from the usual, and the fact that with the kids having started school I am now spending 4 hours on the road getting them back and forth. What a chunk that takes out of a day!

This is Cj’s first school experience, and she’s adjusting as well as she possibly can. Today finished her second week, and her present tactic is to decide during the drive to town whether or not she’ll cry.

Yesterday, the choice was a no. Today she informed me that she would cry, but not for very long. She does ask at least 10 times while we’re on the road if I will pick her up when school is out, but with reassurance … and me being there every day, of course … she’s learning to trust that school is a day thing that comes to an end when Mom shows up.

Sam is thrilled to be back, in a new class and with old friends. He has such a love of learning that every day is fun and satisfying for him. He’s reading well now, and that’s making him happy, as he’s determined to read all the Harry Potter books and Lord of the Rings before he’s seven. We’ll see about that, but he’s well on his way.

He had a bit of an issue with some newer kids insisting that’s he’s Chinese, but has now informed them all proudly that he was born in Cambodia AND is also Seychellois, British and American, an “international kid”!

On other fronts, I’m working on a couple of stories, trying to gear myself up to doing the “write a novel in November” thing for NaBloPoMo squared, and doing my best to figure out which car I should buy, since I soon will need one of my own. The choices here aren’t wide-ranging, but I’m getting some excellent advice from good friends and should have all the info I need and a decision made soon. It would be easier if I cared what I drive, but as long as the thing starts when I turn the key and gets me from A to B I’m completely unfazed by model, color and all the other blah, blah involved. Of course, Cj wants a pink one.

Amazingly, life goes on, and it’s not half bad these days. Well, it’s about 50/50, and that’s one hell of a lot better than it was a few months ago.

While I’m at it, I’d like to take this space to thank all of you who have sent such wonderful support my way. I love you all, even … maybe even especially … those I will never meet in person but who care so much over great distances. You have helped me more than you can even know, and my appreciation is deep and lifelong.

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Where I am these days

Posted in Adoption, Adoption Advocacy, Family, International Adoption, Older Parent Adoption on September 6, 2008| 1 Comment »

For anyone interested in my writing on adoption issues, I have recently found the energy to post on the topic again over on the Adoption Under One Roof site I helped found that’s now been around for seven months.

I’m in the process there of going over the details of my disappearing act and reasons for, my guilt, pain and all that jazz, so if that sounds like something you want to read about, please check it out.

I will NOT be doing that here, or at least not in the sort of depth I’m aiming in that direction.

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Braggin’ on my kid

Posted in Children, Elections USA, Family, World politics, tagged , , , on August 18, 2008| 4 Comments »

I could, with very little prompting, boast endlessly about the innate genius, fantastic beauty and amazing accomplishments of all four of my children, and sometime do.

Today, however, I’ll just post a link to this article in the New York Times that shows the quality of the paper by quoting my eldest child, my daughter Jennifer, in a story about her presidential candidate of preference.

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Nominated, and surprised. Thanks

Posted in Adoption, Family, Writing for a living, Writing for fun, tagged on August 13, 2008| 1 Comment »

Speaking of flash, here’s one that just came to me …

While following some of the ways people find my blog, I found this where someone has included this blog in a “Best Blog” contest, and three people have already voted for me. Wow. Thanks, whoever you are.

The topic is “Best Parenting Blog”, so I’m not deserving of that these days since my writing has been so “me is miserable” slanted, but I do appreciate the nomination and the votes.

Made my day, actually, and that’s very nice.

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Big Shoes

Posted in Family, Fun, Island life, Older women, On getting older, Seychelles, Younger men, tagged , on August 10, 2008| 5 Comments »

No, I’m not writing about empty places in my life that need filling, but rather a pair of strappy sandals with a three-and-a-half inch heel that was delivered on Friday.

One thing possibly not noticeable in the many photos posted of my husband and me together is the fact that I am 5’9″ and he is a touch over 5’7″. Not that that ever made any difference that I was aware of … although I suspect his new girlfriend, much shorter than he is, does add to how he now considers his stature … as I’d been married to a tall guy who made my life miserable, so a short, kind and loving man was fine by me.

Now that the “kind and loving” bits are hard to find, Mark’s smallness has become a feature I am more aware of, and the fact that I’ve spent the last 15 years in flats tweaks a tiny resentment.

Of course, living where I do, flip-flops are de rigeur. Thanks primarily to my mother I have quite the collection of fancy ones that fit most occasions, and I will continue to sport over-spangled, fancy beach shoes for years to come.

I have, however, missed the dressier, snazzier, sexier footwear that comes with extra inches. No more. This weekend, I strapped ’em on and went out.

I had forgotten how different the world looks from six-feet-plus up, and also the impression I make walking into a room at full height in full glory … dressed to the nines, makeup accentuating my positives and a head above the crowd.

Yep. Apparently, I still have something of myself left that catches eyes and compliments, and how much do I need that at this point in my life? One hell of a lot.

Little did I know how far those extra 6 inches (three per foot) would take my self-image, my confidence and self respect. It was quite a pump, and one I fully intend to take advantage of as often as possible.

Hooray for sexy shoes and the benefits of. They’ve taken me more than a few steps forward in the process of healing, and felt very good while doing so.

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Rainy Day Project: Sock Puppets

Posted in Adoption, Children, Family, Fun, Island life, Seychelles on July 27, 2008| 6 Comments »

Although I write … or usually can write when I’m not as depleted as I’ve been lately … any other artistic skills escape me. My oldest daughter is a wonderful artist, as is my youngest son, and my older son is a musician, but I live within the limitations of words.

This being a rainy day in Seychelles and me doing what I can to keep the kids busy, happy and living with a semblance of normal life, we needed a project for this dreary Sunday. With some donations of scraps and bits from my dear friend, Andrew, we made sock puppets; then Sam put on puppet shows for Cj and me.

Good thing the kids aren’t too picky about perfection in puppets, as my design and application leave a lot to be desired. Working together helped, even though I now have about 3 dozen tiny holes in my fingers.

It’s so good that some things still bring such a big smile with them.

Sam and Cj with their puppets

Sam and Cj with their puppets


Up close and personal

Up close and personal


Backstage at the puppet show

Backstage at the puppet show

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What’s up? Just down …

Posted in Children, Family on July 25, 2008| 5 Comments »

I was prepared for this … sort of … a black hole drawing me in once the few weeks of busy prep and positive attention for the book launch was over, but like so much these days, it’s worse than expected.

I’m back to tears and constant shaking, and it takes all the juice I have to keep the kids on what level ground I can create for them. Loneliness is eating me alive, and sadness has me for dessert.

I know I need to find something to focus on, a couple of bootstraps to pull myself up by, but right now I just don’t have it in me. I’m hoping something changes once my birthday/anniversary-of-falling-in-love-with-Mark, is behind me, as it looms with all the power of 15 years of memories and a future of dashed hope.

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Book Launch: Papaya … and other seeds

Posted in Children, Family, Seychelles, Uncategorized, Writing for a living on July 17, 2008| 9 Comments »

As promised, here are a few photos from the launch party. You can see how involved the kids were in the event by the fact that they are in the press shots like the one where I’m giving a book to the Minister of Education.

Sam signed every book I did and would say “Next!” when he’d finished one. Cracked me up! Cj sprinkled fairy dust in each copy for that extra touch of magic!

It was a good evening, but the bittersweetness of it all hit me hard.

I do hope to have a link set up here soon so the book can be purchased online.

With Minister of Education

With Minister of Education

Signing for the TV camera

Signing for the TV camera

Sam signs one of his illustrations

Sam signs one of his illustrations

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