What do Emperor Nero, Warren Beatty, Rev. Jim Jones and a guitarist known as El Prickito have in common with Muammar Gaddafi?
They’re all narcissists.
The NHS definition of NPD:
Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves
The causes of this disorder are unknown …
A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:
* React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
* Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
* Have excessive feelings of self-importance
* Exaggerate achievements and talents
* Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
* Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
* Need constant attention and admiration
* Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy
* Have obsessive self-interest
* Pursue mainly selfish goals
It’s this article that had me researching narcissistic personality disorder again today, even though it has been a topic here on the blog recently.
Given the present circumstances in Libya a revisit is timely.
Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has a narcissistic personality disorder which makes him feel all-powerful and rebel against those who criticise him, a Libyan exile said on Tuesday.
“He feels grandiose and omnipotent… he thinks only of his own interests,” David Gerbi said at a presentation at the University of the Witwatersrand.
“He’s killing people in pursuit of power,” he said.
Yes, much like another famous narcissist, Adolph Hitler, and as with Hitler there is no dealing to be done, no sense to be made, no compromises possible, as is shown in a definitive look at narcissistic personality disorder:
Trying to reform narcissists by reasoning with them or by appealing to their better nature is about as effective as spitting in the ocean. What you see is what you get: they have no better nature. The fundamental problem here is that narcissists lack empathy.
Lacking empathy is a profound disturbance to the narcissist’s thinking (cognition) and feeling (affectivity). Even when very intelligent, narcissists can’t reason well.
Gaddafi had managed, through some pretty typical narcissistic practices … lies, schmoozing, bribery … to “charm” his way out of his previous incarnation as the epitome of evil, but the present circumstances that throw himself in his face are completely intolerable and “deserve” nothing less than everything he can lob at those with the audacity to find him anything other than the perfect leader.
Yesterday’s declaration of a ceasefire is followed today by a full-scale attack on Benghazi, and no matter what he says, what promises he may make under whatever duress the international community may actually … eventually … exert, this man will never do as much as acknowledge a single fault.
It’s worth some time to examine how it is that some so obviously suffering such an obnoxious personality disorder manage to so often get what they want. The fact that they’re tenacious certainly works for them, as does a complete lack of ethics which allows employment of anything it takes to get ahead.
Complicating matters considerably, however, is the healthy person’s incomprehension … disbelief, even … that such heartless cruelty can actually exist in another human being.
Could millions of pre-WWII Germans have signed on to Naziism had they been able to conceive of the true mind of Hitler? Of course there were many reasons his shit floated, but had he not the compulsion to feed his ego machine things could have been much different.
Would those hundreds of People’s Temple folks have served up the Kool-Aid if they’d noticed early on that Jim Jones had a bit of an issue with power and control and put him in his place?
The Reverend, Hitler, Gaddafi … Warren Beatty, even … with their grandiose come-ons, promises of whatever and outright lies lull the unsuspecting into the fold, then hammer them into the ground in hopes they never raise their eyes or voices again.
“Normal” people who see the world as a somewhat ordered state where actions make sense assume others recognize right from wrong without understanding that in the narcissists mind the only “right” is theirs and everything else is just wrong.
That’s not an easy mindset to grasp for the empathic, the healthy, but when the narcissist has an army at his beck and call others need to realize what they’re dealing with. I can only hope … with little faith … that the UN and nations now contemplating Libya are getting the picture.
As for the run-of-the-mill narcissist … well …
Now, it is possible to have a relatively smooth relationship with a narcissist, and it’s possible to maintain it for a long time. The first requirement for this, though, is distance: this simply cannot be done with a narcissist you live with.
Well … yeah … but even the distance thing gets old …
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
Paradise Preoccupied 
I worry so for the people of Libya. Gaddafi just has to much money and is going to kill all of them. It’s heartbreaking. Good article. I do think that unlike the rest of that bunch Warren Beatty does have some talent and what appears to be a very cool and talented wife. Something tells me she has put him in his place but time will tell.
Yeah … the Beatty thing is a holdover, but the Gaddafi thing is very scary. The fact that he’s been considered “credible” for a while is worrying.
I don’t understand why the rest of the Arab world has not gathered to put him down. It appeared at first they were preparing for that then just petered out. Word is today we may get involved which scares me too. I’ve become a CNN junky since the Egypt crisis and it just seems like one thing after another. Makes for some sleepless nights.
The Muslim world is such a mess with one faction against the other that they’re all too busy covering their own asses to bother much outside their borders … unless, like with the Saudis, the border is nothing more than a causeway.
The news has been more than a lot of people can take these days, and what’s not getting covered much is about as bad. What’s going on in Ivory Coast, for example, would be hitting headlines if there wasn’t so much other shit happening. Given the fact that we’re nowhere near the end of any of it … quakes, nukes, uprisings … it’s more than unnerving. Right now I’m pretty happy to be on an island in the middle of nowhere!
Knowing you are safe is a light in the darkness for me I must say as you are surrounded by chaos in that side of the world.
Thanks, Luv … but I’m also surrounded by a whole lotta ocean …
This is about me, isn’t it? 😉
You bombing Libyan rebels these days, Toots? If not, no … sorry. I’ll get to it being about you tomorrow …
El Prikito? lololol
seriously tho, you are really right about the typical healthy person being unable to wrap their minds around the depths of NPD. It took us six years of daily living to decipher the differences between a sick mind and someone recovering from a bad time. the brain wiring is laid down at such a basic level, the only hope is early detection and intervention. which Hitler clearly did not receive.
🙂
Those decriptions sound awfully like sociopath descriptions. Perhaps a sociopath is worse than an NPD.
Sociopaths often end up in positions of power, sadly. I once read an article on the topic of, believe it or not, employment which said if you find youself working for a sociopath, run a mile! 3% of males and 1% of females are sociopaths. So we are all bound to know one!
We are getting my husband out of the region today, just in case. We have enough issues without him being in the middle east.
I would think Gaddafi qualifies more as a sociopath than an NPD sufferer, but I’m no psychologist! Either way, it is not good!
The wiki answer:
Happy to hear your hubby will be someplace safer. Just wish it was home with you!
Either way – they aren’t good! 🙂 Interesting that the term sociopath isn’t used any more, but they also tend to think they are god and all should worship them.
Achieve their own ends no matter the cost to others. So good at lying they can beat lie detectors.
I’ll have to go and research what they have replaced the term with now, just out of curiosity! 🙂
Why can’t we all just be NICE to each other? Is that too much to ask? Obviously, it is!
Being nice to others is out of the realm of the possible for so many, and for others who could manage to pull it off it’s just too much effort, apparently. Seems we’re simply not a species that does NICE well …
true enough, big difference between NPD and sociopath. Hitler was definitely both, Gadaffi too.
most sociopaths do not become serial or mass murders. they do make life hell for those in their daily sphere of influence, and often do rise to the top of major corporations.
narcissistic tendencies are common, most everyone has some from time to time. thankfully it does not usually progress to a disorder. mothers, fathers, siblings, extended family and friends have a positive influence in this matter.
the difference is a responsible person will consider how their actions impact others and change their behavior when they realize they have injured another. the willingness/ability to self analyze defines tendencies towards healthful behavior. a person who will apologize and promise change, but fail to do so, is lying. it’s interesting the professional community has relabeled it APA.
okay, enough rambling on from me for now.
Thanks, Amy. Ramble any time …
brain glitch. relabeled it as APD. what’s one small letter, right?
it actually makes sense to relabel the descriptor, as it just sounds silly to attempt to insult someone by calling them a disorder.
But it is helpful when a description is at hand for those dealing with the disorder from the outside.
very true on the use of labels. they are a handy form of shorthand communication. there is also a movement towards a “people first” attempt to alter our language. i.e. this is my son M, he has ADD, PTSD, PDD – NOS, bi-polar tendencies, and functions at the emotional age of about six years. he is not defined by his alphabet soup of disorders, yet people taking charge of him do most certainly need to know. but do not make the mistake of referring to him as a RAD kid, or as one brilliant school administrator did – misread his PDD as ODD, and then go from there.
hopefully this movement towards people first language will soon carry over to the high functioning groups as well. I absolutely loathe the term gifted child or gifted education. adults tend to become so dazzled with the term gifted, they stop listening before they hear child. and what the hell is gifted education anyhow?
haha, you may well grow to regret that invitation to ramble any time. 🙂
No regrets, Amy. Your contributions are always of great value. And I’m with you on the “gifted” biz. It does a child no favors.
I guess part of the problem is that someones ones terrorist is anthers freedom fighter, ones dictator is someone elses hero. The question also becomes is when people do what they do, do they consider them selves villains ? Like Hitler, and do not get me wrong he was mass murdering fuck head, but in his own mind do you think he was trying the world a better place? like we were discussing, that world peace could only be had by someone ruling with a iron fist?
Emperor Qin, waged wars in China for years, thousands of people died, everyone called him a tyrant, but in his own mind he wanted to unit the fractions, create a uniform language and end the years of war between the warlords.
but yes as you say narcissism is an interesting phenomena and in our own way, I think most of us are narcissists, I know I am 😉
hehe hmm I am not sure about the tights thing and how many others want to see that yet :p
The only example I can think of of a benevolent dictator is Lee Kuan Yew, the man who brought Singapore from a crime-ridden port city of pirates and thieves to the modern-day wonder it is. He was a man on a mission, and the mission was wider than himself. The fact that he eventually retired is rather a clue. I’m guessing Hitler, Gaddafi and the like have little in their minds but their own power.
There’s a difference between being narcissistic in some fashion and narcissistic personality disorder, and that difference is huge. I know you spend a lot of time flexing in front of mirrors, but I doubt you’ve had the empathy lobotomy those with NPD display. I posted indicators of NPD a while back and if you go over than and find yourself answering “yes” to more than a couple of the parameters there … well … you won’t be finding yourself on my veranda any time soon. Until you’ve actually dealt with someone with NPD it’s easy to minimize the effects of what may seem to be nothing more than over-compensation for insecurity or a bit of obnoxious self-aggrandizing without understanding the devastating effects of the full-blown NPD on those who have one in their life.
We may get Robyn weighing in on the tights thing …
Oh I agree with you, and the difference between being the hero and being a power hungry twat is in the actions, I am just saying that I do not think that people (well most people) even if we view them as dictators, think of them selves as a comic book, I am evil and I want to take over the world kinda way. Thats where the NPD comes on where they feel that what they are doing s for the mass well being.
Well I do not flex infront of the mirrors as much as you would think, actually I do not much care for mirrors, so I am working out that issue by being infront of one :p
Hehe lack opf empty is not my biggest problem, though the opposite sometimes is, and yes there is a huge difference between hint of narcissism and NPD. What if I showed up in tights?
Lol yes I saw that :p
The NPD person is more likely to see themselves as the star of their own movie than a comic book character and think themselves GREAT in a “want to take over the world way”. End result is about the same since mass well being would not be the goal.
Give yourself a mirror wave from me.
Hm … if you showed up in tights … okay.
Nope. Definitely not. Not saying a word. My lips are sealed.
@Sandy: True, hmm so does it make me NPD that I want to be a movie star? I would love to be a celeb 😉
lol I will
~laughs~ good to know dear
@Oyeniyi: Why my dear?? lips are the best part, well one of them anyway… they should not be sealed 😉
No, Bobby … that just makes you like about a bazillion others on the planet.
Red, right?
Gee thanks make me feel average why don’t you 😦 Hehe I might aspire for something like many others, but god damn there are some extraordinary things I want and will accomplish 🙂
Yes red, but I am NOT wearing a damn underwear on top of it, unless you are superman that just looks silly
Sorry, Bobby, but that was an obvious one.
And OF COURSE you will!
No underwear at all, thank you.
I hate to say this, but it looked silly on Superman too.
Cheeky – very cheeky young man! Sandra, I can see why you like him – he has a very naughty mind.
Cheeky? Me? I am not, I am as innocent as can be I tell ya, nothing naughty in my mind at all ~grin~
No comment.
yea but he is superman… he is forgiven 🙂 he is the only super hero who is 100 % good, not to mention one of the few in not the only who is born a hero and does not become one. With that kinda pressure who cares about underwear on the outside
You do know your superheroes, don’t you, Bobby?
So … red tights, right?
~smiles~ Thank you Sandy 🙂 ~laughs~ yea why am I not surprised that you want me without undies :p hmmm I find it surprising that Miss Sandy does not have a comment… how did that happen?
I know when to keep my thoughts to myself. I do have filters, you know.
Lol I thought we were in a filter free zone here, is that not the whole thing about creative writing????
My personal blog is FAR from filter-free. If you think what’s here is interesting, you should see what never sees the light of day on Paradise Preoccupied. You haven’t really been thinking you know me that well, have you, Bobby?
oooh I want to see Paradise Preoccupied hehe, as for how well I think I know you? hehe we will let it unfold slowly and see how well indeed, besides I like a challenge.
Lol guess its in the open, I am closet superhero geek :p Well there two I identify with (yes I know bunch of people do) but for me Superman and Batman are two super heroes that have a special place for me. Superman cause I have always felt like an alien, like I do not fit in this world, in these times. I have had to adapt to survive, things that come naturally to so many is something I have had to learn, I have not been able to be who I am, not who I am at my very core because than I would not have survived. So looking in, I adapted to fit in. Though I have been getting more and more of me out there over the last year. in a way I am more me now than I have ever been. There is also the fact that I just can not tolerate injustice, it pisses me off
Batman cause he has a darkness, a darkness most of us fight with, he does what he has to uphold what he believes to be right. The ability to do what it takes is a double edged sword that can lead you to being a hero or a dictator without you even knowing it. I have that in me, in certain cases, certain situations I have no limits, no humanity, for some, I have no forgiveness.
hehe cliche I know. What can I say I am complicated in a very simple way….
Complicated in a simple way … that makes total sense to me, as I feel the same. Convolutions that are easily followed are interesting without being twisted.
As for not fitting in … that’s a given considering your circumstances. I would very much like to discuss this with you at some point because my little kids have somewhat the same situation, although a bit more complex. Your insights would be helpful.
Hoping not to sound really old now, may I suggest that becoming more and more you has as much to do with chronology as anything? You’re 30, and that can be the beginning of the “getting to know me” time of life. It didn’t really settle in comfortably in my case until 40 came along, but perhaps I’m a slow learner.
~smiles~ I am glad I make sense for someone 🙂
Though I think I know what you mean, I will still ask if you can explained what you mean by “that’s a given considering your circumstances” ? Hey any time you want to pick my brain you are welcome my dear, if anything in there can help anyone I am just happier for it.
hmmm you do have a point, I guess we come in a point in life where most of us start taking fuckitall, like “I have become to old to care what you think of me” lol
For you sake could just mean you had more to explore than I did, I have always been a hermit, first by circumstances than by choice. Never really had a wild phase with exception of small indiscretions (like falling for a estonian stripper) though I did have a fun couple of years between 2008-2010 :p
Perhaps I’m projecting a bit with that “it’s a given” thing, as it’s issues of physically obvious transplantation I was referring to … something my family incorporates.
I’m not talking “fuckitall” at all here, Bobby, although someday I may get to that point. It’s more a case of living in one’s own skin comfortably, I don’t think that happens until there are a good number of years under the belt.
It is true that I’ve always been social, have traveled a lot and interact with people easily. Never managed and Estonian stripper, though, so you’ve got me beat. Unfortunately, 2008-2010 were so not my best years, but I’m hoping it’s all better in ’11.
Hmmm do explain some more, I would love to answer this, but I want to understand the core before doing so, I am not sure what you mean by physically obvious transplantation ?
Well that what I mean by “fuckitall” I think that living comfortably in one’s own skin requires in some degree to “not care” in a sense what people think and to get over the need to “fit in” and be “accepted” by the masses. I think that this comes both from number of years, but more so the experiences gathered on those years, you know the whole “it’s not the age but the millage” type thing
lol well you know, I have had my moments. I know the feeling and I think we are all hoping that dear…