Paradise Preoccupied

Since I’ve been writing about testicles, it seems as good a time as any to hammer on a bit about impotence. In this case, the notorious … and mega-costly … impotence of the United Nations.

It’s never a hard bang, as the UN provides fodder almost daily, but today is exceptionally easy.

Starting with this article titled, “Copenhagen summit must be global turning point, UN climate chief says”, we are treated to the usual spin cranked out by the giant PR machine funded by countries all over the world motivated by the need to appear to be doing something positive.

Mr de Boer said his Christmas wish was that politicians and officials “keep it simple”. “What I want to see at the end of this conference is a list of rich country targets that are ambitious, clarity on what major developing countries will do to limit the growth of their emissions and a list of financial pledges that will make it possible for the much broader developing nation community both to change the direction of their economic growth and adapt to the inevitable effects of climate change – that’s what I’m asking Father Christmas for,” he said.

Ignore all the “non-binding”s and “not an outright cut, but a slowing of emissions growth”s and go with the Santa thing, and it sounds okay, I guess.

But …

Like everything the UN does, there’s a flip-side reality that spins things a bit differently.

Like …

Copenhagen climate summit: 1,200 limos, 140 private planes and caviar wedges.

Good for business in Copenhagen, for sure, and a fun time for all lucky enough to make a living ostensibly working for the good of the planet.

Given that the bulk of delegates will be testicle-bearing, there is bound to be much posturing, and even that is being addressed …

… even the prostitutes are doing their bit for the planet. Outraged by a council postcard urging delegates to “be sustainable, don’t buy sex,” the local sex workers’ union – they have unions here – has announced that all its 1,400 members will give free intercourse to anyone with a climate conference delegate’s pass. The term “carbon dating” just took on an entirely new meaning.

… so perhaps releasing a bit of the pressure.

After all, this is work, remember …