The strongest natures, when they are influenced, submit the most unreservedly; it is perhaps a sign of their strength.
~ Virginia Woolf
I came across this quote the other day and it’s been niggling at me ever since. Although I could rail against the idea of submission and would rarely put “strong nature” in the same thought, through the gestation process it has grown progressively more conspicuous in its sense.
It may be the weak we see as easily led down whatever primrose path might be laid at their feet, and there’s no doubt that happens. It takes only a glance toward the silly notions of religion and the fashion industry to note the queues forming in front of smoky mirrors, and the mass whiplash reaction to jingling keys is almost audible in many circles.
Like sheep to the slaughter, we’re accustomed to seeing the glazed-eyed caught in shiny headlights moving in whatever direction has been pointed, manipulated by the cheap, the easy, hardly bothering to question … rarely even forming a question … while assuming some version of free choice, perhaps even thoughtful consideration, when all the time it’s nothing more than simple manipulation that’s put them in line.
It happens en masse, as proven by the popularity of Britney Spears, muffin-top jeans on the overweight and the turnout at tent revivals (and their equivalent), but a one-by-one cherry-picked harvest happens, too, as evidenced by those in relationships so obviously made of nothing but the shifting sands of “Hey! Look over here!”.
This is, of course, not what Ms. Woolf had in mind.
Strong minds, when influenced and fully submitting can change the world. Although not all would agree, many would insist that those challenging the status quo in places like Egypt, Libya, Yemen and Syria might be strong natures influenced by circumstances into unreserved submission to a cause they find just.
It was strength that sent Jane Goodall to Tanzania forty-five years ago and her unreserved submitting to the importance of her work keeps her working today.
From Nelson Mandela to Martin Luther King, Jr. to Randy Shilts and other modern-day heroes, submission to a mission was nothing but a manifestation of great strength.
On a personal level, I’ve had some ponderings on my nature, which I consider strong, and the unreserved submissive stance I’ve taken from time to time. In my advocacy work it helps a great deal that I’ve “been influenced”, as when under attack for proposing what I know to be right I feel no need to qualify and can maintain focus for as long as it takes to get a point across.
The fact that I have paid for allowing myself to be duped into relationships, however, grates, and has had me questioning my strength … quite a bit lately … wondering if and why I can be so needy, so weak, that giving up bits of myself becomes something that feels okay.
It’s vital I acknowledge my vulnerability, step up and shake hands with the frail and insecure parts of me and go toe-to-toe with my deficiencies in dealing with loneliness, as there are lessons to be learned and still enough future left in the old girl to make avoiding any reruns a good idea, but in contemplating Virginia Woolf’s words I must also incorporate my strengths.
I’m choosing to see unreserved submission under the influence as a sign of just how strong I can be. I’m a woman of passions, and it takes balls to capitulate to those when presented with an option to run with them or away from them. Giving myself the freedom to surrender to feelings does feel braver than shutting down and living the rest of my days hunkered under a cloak self-administered anesthesia in a permanent state of numb even when the opposite ends up biting me on the ass and leaving bruises.
Yes, I face the paradox of me, but I’m a woman … strong/weak, ready to take care/needy for care of, confident/insecure, forgiving/unmercifully ruthless … and armed as such (I have two of them, thanks) I move through the days bolstered by strength and buffered by weaknesses.
Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. ~Marie de Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise du Deffand, Letters to Voltaire
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
Paradise Preoccupied 
Due to the time zones, I’m always either first or last to comment! Oh well, can’t help that.
This particularly resonated with me, for certainly I could have capitulated. Passion and my belief in what is right wouldn’t let me.
I like your intepretation of Virginia’s words.
Mind you, looking at the other possible meaning, I did see a film the other day – or part of it – which depicted a very strong woman (she was busy beating men in battle with swords) who made a very similar statement to her new husband on their wedding night. I think she killed him in the end of the movie, but I do think perhaps that is also possible – even for the strongest of us! I’ll let you know if it ever happens to me!
Keep me posted!
the first quote is somewhat misleading. unreserved submission is different than quick submission. it is important to be plodding and thoughtful before giving another person or concept power in our lives. but once we do decide to invest energies, giving it 110 percent is the only way to go. stepping towards our known weaknesses, embracing them, takes their power away and defines our strengths.
Not misleading, but certainly provocative. It had me thinking for a few days.
I’m not sure embracing weakness conquers, but it helps to be able to recognize that part of us.
definitely lots of food for thought in both quotes.
misleading as in: could be used to manipulate a weak minded or overly trusting person.
true enough, simply embracing weakness does not conquer. it also must be wrestled to the ground, have it’s butt kicked, then put in it’s proper place. which requires a lot of time and energy. not for the faint of heart. (or mind)
Hey Sandy,
First of all what kind of illumination can you not give me cause of lent?? should I be scared???
Hehe ok over to the post. I have grown up with a religious back ground and up bringing, though I prefer saying that I am spiritual than religious (there is a subtle difference) I have nothing against any religion, nor for that matter be it fashion industry or movie industry. I do however have an issue with mindless followers, its not what they follow but the how that is the problem. Most people are sheep looking for someone to lead
Though as you also go over to, there is a huge difference in following, unwilling submission and willing submission. I have also dabbled a little Dom/sub life style as well as Master/slave life styles. I have always believed that willing submission has extreme power. Be it to “God” or to another human being for that matter. It is complete trust that no one weak can display and should not be confused with mindless following.
As for relationships I know what you mean, several times through this last year after ending things with my X, I have told myself that I will never let me feel like that again, be that weak, that in love…. but in the end, I also know that for me, but than again if your going to be holding back cause you are scared than for me the point of the whole relationship is dead.
As for the appeal of loosing a part of yourself to be with someone else? well to be honest I can not see the issue with it, it is in a way the law of nature, everything gives up a part of them selves to become something greater and in a way is that not what we are looking for when searching for love? to be part of something greater?
You should always be scared, Bobby. Is good cardio.
I actually have a lot against the religion industry, as it does more damage than films and hides more ugliness than fashion.
Wasn’t thinking in terms of S&M, master/slave sort of stuff and it’s interesting that’s where you went with it.
As for losing a part of self in a relationship, it’s not a good thing where there is no ‘something greater’, just a whole lotta less.
~laughs~ you do have point about the cardio my dear.
I will agree and disagree with you at the same time, disagree because I know what religion is, or is supposed to be (at least for me) I will agree because you said “religion industry” that is not the same thing as religion, because any industry is out to make money and ANYTHING that leads to monetary gains can and will be corrupted to yield the most. Does what we has humans do, everything from God to food to happiness is corrupted, repackaged and sold. The core of almost all religions is love and caring, not matter what those whom claim it do or do not do.
And again there is HUGE difference between mindless following and educated devotion be it to religion, fashion or the movies. Because for me (and this is something that MOST people disagree with me on.. and feel free me a cynic) I honestly do not care how ugly a business is, because ANY business is out to make money, or it would be a hobby. Any choices we make are our own and so are the consequences. There ugliness in the fashion business? HELL yes, but do agree with that the fashion industry is causing young girls health damage by fronting skinny models as beautiful? and causing them to develop eating disorders? No… why? cause their choices are their own, not matter the reason for them, no matter the pier pressure or what the media says, or sells. Case whatever they are selling we are buying.
The responsibility lays with the consumer not as much the distributor and I firmly believe that, I can not condone setting responsibility for your actions on someone or something else and get away with it. The world is full of ugliness and beauty, we choose what to see, what to take in and what to become. We form out own reality, this is why my reality is not the same as yours even IF we had similar experiences.
~smiles~ why is the interesting? hehe I know you did not mean that, but I find similarities in it, just cause of the trust and submission plays a part in both.
Oh I agree my dear, BUT that is not submission for “something greater” but a compromise we make to change what we are and how we feel. At times we just make compromises in the hope that something is better than nothing…but in most cases something ends up being less than nothing…
There seems to me to be a vast gap between religion and spirituality, with religion being the industry and spirituality the internal.
Must disagree on the fashion industry’s responsibility for impact. The pressure exerted on young women to meet unreasonable requirements is huge, dangerous and intentional, so I do aim accusing fingers. Of course, there is personal choice, but when coordinated messages abound it is overwhelming, especially those in formative, insecure times of seeking guidance. Role models and iconic figures have always been part of the maturation process, and when all that is available has been manufactured to encourage a skewed view for the crass purpose of marketing it becomes a loaded gun. Sure, many manage to dodge the bullet, but most are wounded in profound ways that last a lifetime.
We do not form our reality in a vacuum.
Sometimes we make compromises based on lies. It’s not always a simple matter to see the difference between fact and fiction, especially for those inherently honest.
As for the S&M … whatevahhhh ….
You are right, but there is a third as well, spirituality that is the internal, completely personal and in of it self form less and boundless. you have religious industry that is the money making cooperation. Than you have religion which is a different thing, it is a categorizing of spirituality, it is the family tree that you choose to be part of and should you choose to follow and submit to one religion than it is a play book and “how to” guide to life and nothing more. Just a set of rules. but no matter what the rules are common sense should (though dose not) always come into play. Religion just means that your spirituality has a certain path you choose to foolow.
On this one we would have to agree to disagree my dear. We choose out own role models and heroes. We decide what paths we follow even if it is in formative, insecure times of seeking guidance. Role models and iconic figures. We live in a time of information, EVERYONE knows what smoking can cause but people still smoke, EVERYONE knows what alcohol does but people still drink, EVERYONE in school is thought what eating disorders leads to, its shown in the media, discussed endlessly everywhere but people still choose it attain a requirement. And no I do not think the requirements set by the fashion or movie industry is unreasonable just by the fact that no one is holding a gun to your head to follow it. As for eating disorders they have been around since roman time so it is really not something new.
As long someone is choosing, and that is what these young girls are doing, making a choice. than it is only their responsibility for the outcome. Not matter how something is being sold, it is we the consumers who are buying, so if anything the responsibility lays with the buyers.
This is the same case as obese people suing macdonalds, like “really eating deep fried potatoes makes me fat???” no one is forcing it down their throat, the information is out there if you want to know. I was obese up until a year ago, but it was no one else “fault” than my own and my life style, when I changed my life style my body changed.
See if a girl looks at model and goes “I want to look like her” or “guys would want me if I looked like that” they are setting a goal and when they go “if I stop eating I will look like that as fast as possible” or “I need a boob job cause my breasts are to small” they are making a choice on how to attain a goal. People do things to attain their goals that is both devastating to them and others all the time. I think the whole “they made me do it” argument is more devastating than anything as it takes away responsibility of personal choice.
Like if all fast food joints where banned no one would be fat, and if the fashion and movie industry did not exist girls will stop trying to be skinny or have huge breasts and if banned rap music and violent games crime would cease to exist.
Well thats not true, if life formed in a vacuum than reality would be formed their in, because we form our reality by perception this why when two people experience the same circumstance the effect on both of them is still different. Reality is formed by how we view the world and if we change the way we thing our very reality shifts.
That however is true, though in many cases (not always) we do have a sense that we are being lied to, though we shrug it off, and I know TO well how it is to live in this world being cursed by inherent honesty, though it is one of those things I have had to work around to be able to survive.
lol did you just whatevahhh me?? oh no you didn’t girl…
Oh, my. We really need to discuss all this somewhere else, Bobby, as ‘agreeing to disagree’ only goes so far and I feel a need to … well …
And, yes … I did “whatevahhh” you …
hmmm is it me my dear or are we having very long comment discussions? lol
Yes, I’d say our discussions tend to the long and interesting.
indeed they do
Great food for thought, Sandra. I see those with strong natures being more flexible than those with weak natures. Sometimes I see what appears to be a strong nature, only to find out that deep inside it is weak. In my past, I usually lost myself in a relationship because everything seemed to revolve around the Other. Now, I’m happy I found Me. I guess I could say I’m learning to have a relationship with myself which actually sounds kind of funny now that I think about it. Life is so interesting (my new fav saying).
And hence that horrible curse: May you live in interesting times …
~laughs~ I bet you do my dear Sandy, I will discuss with you anytime, though why does “agreeing to disagree” only goes so far ?? ~smiles~
well thats… just… well its kinda cute actually 😉
Are you now accusing me of cuteness?
It is not a accusation but statement of the truth. Thou art so very cute ;D
I can almost not believe this, Bobby, but you just made me blush. That doesn’t happen often …
~smiles and claps~ and you do not believe in miracles 😉 I take that as an compliment Miss Sandy 😉 ~smiles~
But I do believe in miracles, Bobby. Just not those that come in bottles …