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Archive for the ‘The United Nations’ Category

With as much objectivity as my ex-husband’s trashy paramour would have conducting a study of his honor, and with all the credibility of the Catholic church investigating sex abuse of children, the UN has commissioned a review of “the workings of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC)”.

Fox? Henhouse?

Well … if follow the money rings a bell, this might lead thinking minds in certain directions:

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change is the leading body for the assessment of climate change, established by the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) and the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) to provide the world with a clear scientific view on the current state of climate change and its potential environmental and socio-economic consequences.

Those who consider the UN above all suspicion of self-gratification might not think this the giant circle jerk that my brain conjures, but, although a contradiction in terms, the impotence of the organization would indicate that what will cum of this “review” will be little more than a useless sticky mess that doesn’t clean up after itself.

… rather like my ex and the Pope.

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We knew it was coming, and here it is, just as predicted a few days ago when I wrote:

There is no shortage of arrogant pinheads ready to scream “cultural genocide” and insist that any kid removed from Haitian hellfire is being robbed of his birth right, will suffer lifelong from the loss of said culture, and just may have some blood relatives still alive somewhere who are not too busy bleeding and killing and looting to take in an extra child or ten. In other words, demanding a hands-off-Haitian-children and leave-them-to-rot policy to rule.

At the top of the leave-’em-to-rot hit parade, as always, UNICEF, with their advisor in comfortable, safe Geneva coming out with this …

“We know the problem with trade of children in Haiti and many of these trade networks have links with the international adoption market.”

Of course UNICEF knows the problems with children in Haiti, but what they’ve done to alleviate those over the years is, shall we say, unimpressive. They do good counts of dead kids and can usually tell us how many are undernourished, but how helpful is that to the actual children? Not so much.

And that bit about “links with the international adoption market” is nothing but a dirty swipe with a tarred brush meant to divert attention and cast adoption in the negative light UNICEF is so fond of.

Save The Children is jumping on this one, too; a natural response from an organization that supports its very large staff through donations to kids stuck in poverty and misery.

“Taking children out of the country would permanently separate thousands of children from their families – a separation that would compound the acute trauma they are already suffering,” said Save The Children’s chief executive Jasmine Whitbread.

The children being “rushed” out of Haiti are those who should have been home in the safety of their adoptive families long ago, having been cleared for adoption, abandoned or orphaned, paperwork ready, and held in orphanages simply because organizations like UNICEF demand they wait and wait and wait.

Several of the children arriving in France had been resident in a nursery that was severely damaged in last week’s earthquake but “not a single child was injured and not a single adoption file was lost,” said French consul in Haiti, Jean-Pierre Gueguan.

The children left the school on Thursday where they had taken shelter after the destruction and headed to the Port-au-Prince airport.

Each had a Haitian passport with the family name of their adoptive family but also their birth family’s surname.

For many, it’s impossible to comprehend a mindset that condemns the idea of families welcoming children into the fold, but the anti-adoption steamroller was bound to plow over Haiti’s disaster. As the press hops on for the ride, read well for motives … and look hard for anyone who bothers to ask the kids how they feel.

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I know I’ve been ranting a lot lately … sorry ’bout that … and am happy to excuse anyone tired of my seemingly-constant diatribes from bothering to read me.

BUT …

When shit like this pops up in front of me on a Thursday morning, I simply can’t help myself.

The number of people killed in a decade of war in the Democratic Republic of Congo may be half of the accepted toll of 5.4 million, a study has suggested.

First thought …

Ah … less than 3 million dead people? No prob, then, heh?

Second thought …

How much did this study cost?

Then paragraph number five makes me want to grab that hair brush again.

The BBC’s East Africa correspondent Peter Greste says the initial figures shocked the world into action.

Sorry, but does anyone recall the world being “shocked” into “action” in Congo?

The country is a mess, and the “action” touted has been about as useless as international “action” usually turns out to be.

“Military operations have not succeeded in neutralising the FDLR and have exacerbated the humanitarian crisis.”

Anyone questioning the uselessness would be welcome to ask any of the thousands of child soldiers forced into killing just how helpful all the “shock” and “action” have been.

It seems about time that we stopped buying the PR spin that absolves some guilt, perhaps, but in reality does so little, so late, and admit that the “world” really doesn’t give a shit.

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Since I’ve been writing about testicles, it seems as good a time as any to hammer on a bit about impotence. In this case, the notorious … and mega-costly … impotence of the United Nations.

It’s never a hard bang, as the UN provides fodder almost daily, but today is exceptionally easy.

Starting with this article titled, “Copenhagen summit must be global turning point, UN climate chief says”, we are treated to the usual spin cranked out by the giant PR machine funded by countries all over the world motivated by the need to appear to be doing something positive.

Mr de Boer said his Christmas wish was that politicians and officials “keep it simple”. “What I want to see at the end of this conference is a list of rich country targets that are ambitious, clarity on what major developing countries will do to limit the growth of their emissions and a list of financial pledges that will make it possible for the much broader developing nation community both to change the direction of their economic growth and adapt to the inevitable effects of climate change – that’s what I’m asking Father Christmas for,” he said.

Ignore all the “non-binding”s and “not an outright cut, but a slowing of emissions growth”s and go with the Santa thing, and it sounds okay, I guess.

But …

Like everything the UN does, there’s a flip-side reality that spins things a bit differently.

Like …

Copenhagen climate summit: 1,200 limos, 140 private planes and caviar wedges.

Good for business in Copenhagen, for sure, and a fun time for all lucky enough to make a living ostensibly working for the good of the planet.

Given that the bulk of delegates will be testicle-bearing, there is bound to be much posturing, and even that is being addressed …

… even the prostitutes are doing their bit for the planet. Outraged by a council postcard urging delegates to “be sustainable, don’t buy sex,” the local sex workers’ union – they have unions here – has announced that all its 1,400 members will give free intercourse to anyone with a climate conference delegate’s pass. The term “carbon dating” just took on an entirely new meaning.

… so perhaps releasing a bit of the pressure.

After all, this is work, remember …

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It’s time to take a break from outrage and post some bits of life here on this island for those of you who actually like sharing my life with me.

I’ve written before about the wonderful people with whom I’m blessed to spend time … a smart, funny, lovely and international gang … and as it goes here, new people join in as others move along.

Going away get-togethers are a bittersweet aspect of Seychelles living, and I’ve been to a few lately. The other night was such an event … Violeta is leaving for some months … so a dinner at Sam’s Pizzeria was on the plate.

As always, many countries were represented, and if the UN could do half the job around the table at creating global warm fuzzies as we do the world would be a much better place.

Check out the smiling faces …

Me and Sam ... that's the US, Seychelles and Cambodia

Me and Sam ... that's the US, Seychelles and Cambodia

Deb ... a Yorkshire lass ... and Cj

Deb ... a Yorkshire lass ... and Cj

Violeta, from Serbia

Violeta, from Serbia

Laura is Italian

Nathalie is from Lebanon

Nathalie is from Lebanon

Lio and Carlos ... that's France listening to Spain

Lio and Carlos ... that's France listening to Spain

Photo credits: Sam Benoiton

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A one-two punch of stories in today’s news would not have seemed to follow taken individually, but when set side-by-side an obvious tango appears.

The first, this out of China, is about a four-fold increase in profits seen by the state oil company, Sinopec.

Fuel price reforms have allowed price hikes that have been repeating bundles.

Sinopec reported a net income of 33.2bn yuan ($4.8bn; £2.9bn) for the six months to the end of June, compared with 7.7bn yuan a year earlier.

… “It is anticipated that the result of [the] first three quarters of 2009 will be over 50% higher compared with the same period of last year … ”

Oil companies making money in today’s global economy may sound like a positive ramping up that could fuel growth … for those who consider growth always positive … but that brings me to the next report.

In Africa, leaders are gathering to talk about climate change.

Captioned, “Africa is set to suffer the worst impacts of climate change”, the implications should not be underplayed.

Under the auspices of the African Union, the meeting will underline the chief African demand for compensation for damages caused by global warming.

The move to agree a common negotiating platform for Africa is a recognition of the failure of the continent to make its voice heard to date.

One of the documents prepared for the meeting talks about the “dismal co-ordination” of the African negotiation process.

Fine and dandy, yes?

Considering the aggressive courting China is now doing in Africa, maybe not.

The reality of the UN climate negotiations is that the US, China, India and the European Union have the greatest sway.

Failing to recognize a link between increasing oil consumption and profits for that consumption in China and climate change in Africa would be missing a major point, and if Africa is set to “demand compensation for damages caused by global warming” at the same time China is buying the continent wholesale, we have a conflict, folks.

Not only is Africa more than willing to take just about whatever China is wiling to give, and they give a LOT in the way of construction, development, cash … whatever … African countries also vote in the UN General Assembly — line on the left, one vote each — and those votes go a long way toward keeping the Chinese government away from accountability and closer to doing whatever the heck they want in ways that can’t help but get that climate change thing going through the roof, or the ozone layer, as the case actually will be.

We’ve all seen images of drought in Ethiopia, the venue for the African talks … starving children, dead cattle, millions of people in camps begging for a grain of anything to keep them alive one more day … but reading about four-fold profits on oil in China may not trigger a response that connects to those images nor seem the potentially devastating blow it truly is.

It’s not a vacuum we live in … if it was, the world would be cleaner … and what happens in one corner of the globe impacts us all, some much more drastically than others.

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It’s time for me to let outrage spill into the blog again, and although I could pound on about health care in America, the abomination in Burma, the double standard on internationally adopted children and much more, this gets my dander itching this morning …

It is now legal in Afghanistan for a man to starve his wife to death if she refuses to have sex with him.

Rape, of course, is not an issue, as that goes without saying. Beating to death is common enough and usually without repercussions, and now starvation is condoned.

And how will the world react? With its usual impotence …

Western leaders and Afghan women’s groups were united in condemning an apparent reversal of key freedoms won by women after the fall of the Taliban.

Oh, the dreaded “united condemning”!

Shall we wait to see how much food that puts into an Afghan woman who’s not in the mood for abuse?

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If you were in charge, what would you do if you came across a dude who is known to have run camps that kidnapped kids, then trained them to be soldiers? Not just one camp, but seven of them. Keep in mind that this would be in Africa, the guy’s nickname is “the Terminator”, and he is on the UN war crimes list as a wanted man.

According to the BBC, what the UN has done is given him a job.

An indicted war criminal is playing a leading role in the UN mission in the Democratic Republic of Congo, according to documents seen by the BBC.

A Congolese army paper suggests ex-rebel leader Gen Bosco Ntaganda has a major part in the command chain, says a BBC correspondent in the country.

The UN-Congolese force is fighting Hutu rebels in the eastern DR Congo.

Well, that’ll teach him.

On the off chance that you’re not familiar with the plight of children taken for soldiering in the DRC, this report from Amnesty International gives a taste. Here’s just a tiny bit of the intro:

Seven years of almost continuous war in the Democratic Republic of Congo ( DRC) have led to the death of over three million people since 1998 alone, most of them civilian men, women and children. Tens of thousands of women have been raped. Countless acts of torture have been reported. Fleeing the conflict, hundreds of thousands of civilians have been driven from their home into neighbouring countries or other parts of the DRC. Many have died from malnutrition and lack of access to humanitarian assistance. Up to two million people have been internally displaced, including 400,000 children displaced from their homes. This is not a war in which civilians have been the unfortunate victims of ‘collateral damage’, but one in which they have been unremittingly and remorselessly targeted. Death and intense suffering have become the daily fabric of Congolese lives. The conflict has also been marked by the widespread use of children as combatants by all parties. The DRC is currently one of the countries of the world with the largest number of child soldiers.

Read the full report if you have the heart.

The UN is denying that the Terminator is on the payroll … they would, wouldn’t they? … but apparently Human Rights Watch isn’t buying it

“We are very worried by this information and it seems to us that the United Nations is acting like an ostrich with its head in the sand,” Anneke Van Woudenberg, the group’s senior researcher on DR Congo, told the BBC.

“It’s time now this is addressed head on. Rather than denying or ignoring the role being played by Bosco Ntaganda, the UN should be actively seeking his arrest and transferring him to The Hague.”

Well, yeah, although ostrich is not what comes to my mind. I doubt very much that this is a case of not knowing, or even of pretending not to know, but rather out-and-out lying when facts are brought from the gloom of shady dealing into the bright light of a world paying attention.

Where the PR machine spins this one is anybody’s guess, but I am hoping the story doesn’t die on the BBC vine, especially when the UN’s public defense so far comes down to a UN spokesman’s sorry comeback:

“Bosco Ntaganda’s name does not appear on that document, so we have from our Congolese counterparts an assurance that he is not part of the command.”

Well, then … job over, hey, Buddy?

If the United Nations designed dildos, they would all be one inch long, as thick as a toothpick, made from Silly Putty and would just lay there, but they would be a pretty baby blue … and would cost $1 million each.

And, yeah, that’s a statement on expensive impotence.

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This is just too depressingly easy.

Not that the world needs it, but if the farce on show at the UN’s “Racism Forum” … scheduled and pulled off with all the usual fanfare on, of all days, Holocaust Remembrance Day … isn’t graphic enough an example of that organization’s complete failure to grasp the basics of diplomacy, taste, tact and common sense … well, people need a good hard slap.

Can we hear it for the countries boycotting the event? If nothing else, they saved a bundle by passing on the airfares to Switzerland and expenses for delegations they well knew would show up, glad-hand around, sip fine wines, munch tasty snacks, then walk out.

That this was a setup from the word go is as obvious as a shiny white SUV against a backdrop of starving Africans, and I, for one, am perched and aquiver with anticipation to see what the UN’s highly paid spin machine does with it all.

Not too brilliant from the gate, as always …

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon has expressed dismay at the boycotts and the speech, saying Mr Ahmadinejad had used his speech “to accuse, divide and even incite”.

Yo, Dude! Duh …

(Think I wrote the same words when he was “shocked” by the state of affairs he saw when landing in Darfur. What do they pay this guy?)

In case, of course, the whole point of this conference is actually to stir shit, insult history, open wounds afresh, prop up hate-filled pinheads AND spend a whole bunch of money that could have bought about a zillion insecticide-laden mosquito nets, let’s send congratulatory notes and admit it’s been a raging success.

If the United Nations gets a pass on this, the world should hang its collective head, sigh deeply and bend over in prep for the next time, keeping in mind how much that ramming will cost us all.

Anyone like to join me in inviting Cher do to an updated version of an old classic? This time we’ll call it “Ban Ban” and make it a rallying cry to get this git gone, along with the whole shebang.

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Not that I often do, but today let me not mince words here …

The United Nations is a self-perpetuating, money-sucking, basically useless organization that needs to go, for until it does there will never be a chance to replace this monster with something that actually works.

There are very few days that pass without something about the UN appearing in the press to piss me off, whether it be yet another expensively dressed Secretary General espousing shock over a situation that the rest of the world long ceased to find a revelation … Ban Ki-moon’s trip to Darfur was shameful … or successive trottings-out of statistics that spiral ever more rapidly downwards no matter how efficient the highly paid bean counters may be, and it takes only the sight of a convoy of brand spanking new white SUVs to get me spitting dust, much like the thousands lining the paths of said convoys.

The offering today? The “racism forum” set to open in Geneva and reports on the UN reaction to the boycotting of the conference by the US, Australia, Canada, Italy, Netherlands, New Zealand, Israel and Germany, amongst others.

In typical fashion …

UN human rights chief Navi Pillay has said she was “shocked and deeply disappointed” by the boycotts.

Oh, for fuck sake!

There’s that shock thing again. I’m thinking UN big shots should be a bit more clued up, heh?

The only world leader showing up … and speaking … is that wonder of gentle tolerance, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Holocaust denier extraordinaire, who will apparently be welcomed with open arms, handed the podium and encouraged to pour his tiny, rotten little soul out in front of yet another global audience provided so kindly by the UN.

The fact that the Pope has been called in to provide backup for this fiasco adds an element of crap.

The Pope has also spoken out in favour of the conference, saying it was an opportunity to fight discrimination and intolerance.

“We ask for firm and consistent action, at national and international level, to prevent and eliminate any form of discrimination and of intolerance,” he said.

WTF?

Of course, this isn’t too surprising when the Church’s take on Nazi gas chambers at the time they were cranked up and running at full bore is recalled. Pope-led “Firm and consistent action” helped get six million people killed, thankyouverymuch, so he can just shut the fuck up … and why would anyone ask his opinion, anyway?

This conference and the press around it is exactly the sort of UN bullshit that winds me up and gets this monkey drumming like mad, beating out the same bloody tune again in hopes of putting a tiny dent in the image so carefully crafted and maintained by one of the world’s great PR machines.

Of course, I wouldn’t need to make much fuss at all if we could all take a look at the bill for this forum .. that would rather nutshell the whole game and draw a thick, black line under what the UN is really all about.

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