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Saying goodbye to Julie

Saying goodbye to Julie

I’ve been writing a lot lately about friends … new, old, near, distant, physical, virtual … the value of all and the fact that I welcome them into my life with gratitude.

One advantage of life on a tiny island in the middle of the Indian Ocean is the diversity of friends and the fact that with so few people here, I usually end up meeting a lot of those with common interests that come to Seychelles and stay a while.

People come from all over to work or play, and as the shots I posted of more recent additions on the “people I’m fond of” list shows … eleven countries represented in twelve photos … my friends are from all over the world.

That is, indeed, a lovely aspect of island life. Conversations are fascinating, parties are a hoot and the bottom line always ends up under what what we share, not how we differ.

What is not, however, quite so lovely is the fact that most of these lovely friends also go.

Holidays are short and work contracts usually last only a year or two. Getting close to people comes with the caveat: This will not last for long.

My first few years here had me ducking-and-covering to a great extent, careful to keep myself a bit aloof, forgoing close bonding with those I knew would move along long before I would be ready to say goodbye.

That, however, is not a natural posture for me … my tendency is to give my heart, care much, share all, and I’ve learned to enjoy while I can.

The Internet has helped immensely, of course. I can now see people off at the airport knowing that we’ll be chatting on facebook in a few hours. This is not the same as having them in arms’ reach, but it does make a difference.

There are many, many people I miss daily and desperately, but I would not give up the time we did have together for anything, no matter how big a hole is left when they go.

The up-side is that I have friends all over the world, and although I don’t travel as much as I would like to these days, the biggest issue when thinking about going somewhere is deciding who I’m going to visit.

I spent some of yesterday with a family I’ll be waving adios to tomorrow night … Jakob, Lisa and Julie.

Jakob is from Denmark, Lisa is Swedish and Julie is 10-months-old and a heart-stealer. They going to Stockholm, and although I most certainly hope to share space with them again someday, there is no guarantee that will ever happen.

Although we didn’t spend a lot of their year here together, their departure will leave a blank space in Seychelles and I will miss them.

Thankfully, Lisa keeps a blog … today’s post is full of photos of me and Julie (Thank you, Lisa!) … so I will be able to watch a little darling grow, if from a great distance, and follow their lives as well as Bablefish allows me to understand Swedish.

Friends come and friends go, and I’m thankful.

As that great sage Anon once said,

“You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your ‘friends.’”

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This is the 300th post here on PP, and having written yesterday about the importance of friends, I thought I’d post a few photos today of me with some of the more recent additions that have come into my life in the last 100 posts.

Evi, me, Marketa

Evi, me, Marketa


Me and Ernesto

Me and Ernesto


Me and Magnar

Me and Magnar


Shrone and me do beach

Shrone and me do beach ...


Kim, me and Calina

Kim, me and Calina


Me & Paris

Me & Paris

Guillaume likes my boa

Guillaume likes my boa


Magnar, me & Jacques

Magnar, me & Jacques


Me with Kimmy

Me with Kimmy


Bart & me

Bart & me


Me and 'Enzo

Me and 'Enzo

Italians! gotta luv 'em!

Italians ... gotta luv 'em!

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Robbie ... a photo of an old friend, by an old friend ...

Robbie ... a photo of an old friend, by an old friend ...

There has never been any doubt that I’m social.

My brother once remarked, perhaps disparagingly, that there is NO ONE I won’t talk to. Although that’s not completely accurate, I do believe that I can learn something through conversations with most people, even if we don’t happen to speak a common language.

So, no surprise that I’ve taken to online social networks like a termite to timber. Not only have platforms like facebook, myspace and Twitter allowed me to reconnect with friends I’d thought I’d lost forever, new people have come into my life … people I don’t want to imagine being without.

I hadn’t spoken to my high school bud, Virginia in 30-some years, but now we’re in touch almost daily. Robbie, my bbff and neighbor in a previous life had all but disappeared from my radar until he joined fb and skype, but we now wet ourselves on a regular basis and give each other stomach cramps from the laughs we share.

My cyber sister, Jo, and I have never met, but our lives intersect sometimes hourly, and I’ve yet to meet anyone who thinks my exact thoughts as often as she does.

Thanks to the Internet, my love life is … well … lovely, or as lovely as long distance relationships can be.

A week or so ago I trimmed my facebook friend list by 100, as I’ve arbitrarily set a max of 500 and had exceeded that limit. I’m already back up to 450, so I may have to up my quota, but even though this can stretch me a bit thin I do have some level of closeness to each and every one of the people who poke and chat and banter and comment on my status as if they cared.

My up-close-and-in-person friend clan is large, too, and even though scattered around the world, we remain close. I’ve not seen Michael in years, nor Magnar in months, but I have a pretty good idea of what’s up with them, and they with me.

Turns out, that all this friend stuff may keep me and my friends alive.

As this article in the NYT reports, that’s just what friends do.

Researchers are only now starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health. A 10-year Australian study found that older people with a large circle of friends were 22 percent less likely to die during the study period than those with fewer friends.

And luckily for some of us, the role of friends is even more important than that of a spouse.

Bella DePaulo, a visiting psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, whose work focuses on single people and friendships, notes that in many studies, friendship has an even greater effect on health than a spouse or family member. In the study of nurses with breast cancer, having a spouse wasn’t associated with survival.

(I think I’ll tattoo that somewhere: … having a spouse isn’t associated with survival. Funny thing is, that’s exactly what all my friends told me when Mark bailed, bless them!)

Anyway …

Friends. I love mine.

Now, if I could only get that damned Rembrandts song out of my head …

Photo credit: Trudy Fisher

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With thanks to all who filled in the PP survey, and who asked for more about my kids here … here’s a vid I put together in tribute to the beauty and sweetness of Cj … my youngest, my baby, my darling little girl.

Enjoy!

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Please click here to fill out a few little boxes that may lead me out of some of my cluelessness …

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Pardon me for being way behind the curve here, but I do live on an island in the middle of nowhere with only an hour and a half of CNN per day …

Thankfully, however, I read blogs so came across this link to the transcript of the Bush Roast at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, given by a guy I’ve never heard of … as if that matters to anyone, especially Stephen Colbert.

Okay. Okay. This is going back about a thousand days, but … shit … it’s really funny, and worth recalling, if for no other reason than to make one feel better about today.

Yeah … the world is a mess and people are suffering and life sucks, but BUSH IS GONE!!!!!

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I did some bloggy housecleaning last night and accidentally deleted this post.
Forgive the rerun, but I like it and want to keep it up.

The moon is still a very long way from setting into the Indian Ocean, and so bright that it has dimmed my stars. The Big Dipper … upside-down on this side of the Equator, which is why here it is called the Plow … has lost its usual impact on the night sky, but is hanging before me, indicating, as always, North.

North … roots, history, family, Ernesto. I long for North, and sometimes the pull of that Pole is strong.

It’s the Southern Sky that covers me now, and has for thirteen years. I’ve grown to know it, and on mornings like this during the pause between darkness and dawn, I love it more than I ever recall loving a sky before.

Loving it, I worship.

Straight from my bed perched on the edge of sky, I rise, and naked I stretch out on my balcony and moonbathe. Even this grand and bright, this huge moon’s light brings no heat, unlike the golden sun that waits just over the island to brown my skin with its rays, but it pours through air that is amniotic … warm, wet, all-enfolding … and brushes my body with silver.

I would like to close my eyes and shine, but don’t want to miss a minute of the beauty before me, this gift of light, so I stare in wonder and search the moon’s well-known face that stares back at me and smiles.

Luna.

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The Internet on this bloody island died last night at just past 11pm … right in the middle of an important skype call and long before I was done with all I had to do.

My ISP has a “hot line” which is ALWAYS switched off outside of working hours … so actually cold as a corpse … but I do have the manager’s private cell phone number. Dialing fingers, for sure, only to find that that phone is also switched off .. en tenye, in Creole.

Fuck.

So, I go to bed. Fine. Whatevahhhhhhhh …

As always, I’m awake before 6am, grab my ‘puter, and, of course, find that nothing has been fixed and there is STILL no access. Dead as a doornail … and thanks for the explanation of that term, Andy …. as it was before I hit the hay.

Dialing again … Romano, Selwyn, Richard-the-hot-line-guy-for-the-night … en tenye.

Fuck.

I’m cursing island life, the cavalier attitudes of everyone with a job they are supposed to do … for which they charge a bloody fortune, by the way … stomping around infuriated by people who turn their phones off rather than do their jobs, and waiting for 7:00 to roll around in hopes that by then one of these incompetent jerks will be awake and reachable.

Then, what to my wondering eyes does appear before me?

A double rainbow just off my bedroom balcony.

Huge, it arcs from one side of the bay to beyond, emptying its pot of gold on the beach below me.

Okay. Fine. I get it.

I have work to do, people to contact, connections to make, demands upon me …

AND

A double rainbow to put that all in a beautiful perspective.

I’m paying attention now.

(I’d provide a photo of said double rainbow, but … the batteries I just bought for the camera are dead fresh out of the pack.

Island life … sigh.)

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Sam got a cool camera for Christmas from Uncle and Auntie … thank you!!! … and shoots and shoots and shoots. He has quite a good eye and takes some amazing pix, which has been no surprise considering his talents.

What has been a revelation, however, is what Cj accomplishes when she’s behind the lens. Of course, her model is top-class …

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With the following two vids and the music in them, I don’t need to say a word today. They say it all …

“Lucky” Official Video With Colbie Caillat

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