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Archive for the ‘Adoption’ Category

Breaking baby’s ribs: A fundamental right of biology?

Posted in Adoption, WTF? on June 3, 2007| 3 Comments »

The Ohio Supreme Court ruled last week that parents who seek to regain custody of children who’ve been placed in the care of others for their protection should have to prove that something has changed in the child’s life that would make placement back with them look like someone’s version of the right thing to do.

In a rather confusing story in The Cincinnati Post, the circumstances surrounding the placement of an infant with grandparents and the regaining of custody by parents years later is explained.

Apparently, the child, Brayden James, an infant at the time, was placed with his grandparents after being hospitalized for bruises and broken ribs inflicted by his parents.

Some years later, the parents argued that the part of the law that required them to show a change in circumstances was “unconstitutional because it deprived them of their fundamental right as the natural parents to raise their 8-year-old son”.

Excuse me?

Don’t know about how others might feel, but in my book breaking a baby’s ribs completely negates any rights, and anyone who does that … even if they take ‘parenting and anger management classes’ afterwards … do not get a second chance. That’s how kids end up dead.

And, as if giving birth should ever convey fundamental rights to natural parents. What the hell is that about? Giving birth is a biological function that produces a human being, not a pink slip of ownership.

As so often happens, the case has been going on for years, with a trial in 2004 ruling that Brayden be returned to his parents. The grandparents have taken it further, and the Supreme Court’s recent decision takes the position that a child’s stability should be placed above the demands of the natural parents.

“The clear intent of that statute is to spare children from a constant tug of war,” the 1997 ruling said.

The attorney for the parents is warning that the ruling “… will have a chilling effect on young parents seeking temporary custody arrangements for their children. He said the key element of the case was that his clients are Brayden’s parents, and the Hutchinson’s are not.”

I’d say, the key element is that his clients broke a baby’s ribs, and the Hutchinsons did not.

It would be interesting to be able to check back on this child from time to time.

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Cambodian News: KR, UN, ECCC, IFAD, IRIC, EU, ASEAN, LICADHO and more alphabet in the soup

Posted in Cambodia, International Adoption on June 1, 2007| Leave a Comment »

Are the Khmer Rouge trials closer to becoming more than an joke with no punch line? Perhaps.

Yesterday saw the beginning of a two-week meeting of the Judges of the Extraordinary Chambers in the Courts of Cambodia (ECCC) … the official website is here … that is supposed to resolve all remaining disputes between Cambodian and International jurists on how the tribunal will be run.

Once the internal rules are settled, investigations can begin. Not to say that they WILL begin, but that it will then be possible. Investigators are to be sworn in on the 13th.

I, for one, will be amazed if they actually manage to accomplish anything … amazed, impressed and very happy to eat my cynicism. This being a UN gig, I so have my doubts about it being more than an exercise in keeping people employed.

And speaking of the UN …

UN special representative of the secretary-general, Yash Ghai, made a return trip to Cambodia this week, surprisingly.

Although he welcomed legal reforms in the country and expressed hope that there are more to come addressing unjust court actions and human rights violations, he criticized a recent decision of the Appeal Court to uphold convictions for the murder of a trade union leader, “despite strong exculpatory evidence and ‘fundamentally flawed’ proceedings.

“The upholding of these sentences is a grave injustice and the Special Representative reiterates his calls for a thorough, impartial and credible investigation into the murder of Chea Vichea, and for the prosecution of those responsible,” he said in a statement.

He was apparently pleased with the way the commune council elections were conducted, but voiced concern over continuing intimidation of worker’s movement leaders.

Only Deputy PM Sar Kheng would meet with him during the visit. No one else was ‘available’ to see him.

Cambodia’s Human Rights Committee Chairman has rejected Amnesty International’s Annual Report that alleges the Cambodian government doesn’t respect human rights, evicts residents from their land, won’t pass an anti-corruption law, and obstructs the process of the courts.

In a statement I can’t figure out at all, the Chairman said, “If they said we chased Cambodian people out of Phnom Penh and they love Cambodian nation, we as Cambodians love it a thousand times more than they do.”

Huh?

And the UN International Fund for Agricultural Development is announcing support for a $11.5 million project aimed at helping rural poor.

Saying this is the agencies first targeting of the poor, ethnic, rural population … really? … the “Rural Livelihoods Improvement Project” is supposed to do something … haven’t heard what yet … with 22,600 households in Kratie, Preah Vihear and Ratanakiri provinces.

Bringing is cash, the tourist trade saw a 20% jump in the first four months of this year over the same period in 2006. (2006 drew 1.7 million tourists, generating $10.5 million)

This bump in the biz is attributed in part to new routes between Cambodia, Viet Nam and Thailand, with a 70% increase in Vietnamese tourists.

Here’s a story I don’t get:

A recent survey by the Adventist Development and Relief Agency (ADRA) showed that a tobacco control policy will receive enormous support in Cambodia …

Hmmmm. A country that can’t manage much in the way of reform and where very close to anything goes is reported to be gung-ho about an “immediate ban” on cigarette advertising.

Please. Can’t we deal with adoption issues first?

And here’s something to keep an eye on; a group of South Korean companies is saying it will be spending somewhere around $2 billion to build a whole new city on 119 hectares on the northern edge of Phnom Penh>

Oh my.

Yes, folks, Cambodia is booming, and total bursting at the seams isn’t far off.

A side effect? Possibly evictions, as detailed by the NGO LICADHO.

Borei Keila, located opposite the Bak Tuok High School in central Phnom Penh in Veal Vong commune of 7 Makara district, covers 14.12 hectares of land and it is divided into 10 communities. It houses at least 1,776 families —including 515 families who are house renters and 86 families who reportedly have HIV/AIDS. Villagers first settled on the land, the site of a former police training facility, in 1992.

In early 2003, in the lead up to the July 2003 general election, a “land-sharing” arrangement was proposed for Borei Keila, which would allow a private company to develop part of the area for its own commercial purposes while providing alternative housing to the residents there. The idea was hailed because, rather than the villagers being evicted, they would be compensated for the loss of their land by being given apartments in new buildings to be constructed on part of the site.

It hasn’t quite worked out that way, however. Read the story for a lot of details.

And China’s big-four steel companies are preparing to start operations in Cambodia at a comcession with 200,000,000 tons estimated as iron ore reserves.

And, of course, stories about new golf courses are become a regular feature of Cambodian news.

Under the plan, the golf course will cover an area of 120ha with half each to be located in Viet Nam and Cambodia. The golf course will consist of a park, 18 hole-course, hotels, restaurants, and tax free shops.

Progress? Schmogress!

The British government is handing out radios to members of the Khmer Cham, Cambodia’s Muslim community, in an effort to give them access to Cham-language programs.

The British Embassy in Phnom Penh claimed in a statement, “The program helps to engage the Muslim community throughout Cambodia and works to promote peace, democracy, human rights, and combat terrorism.”

Bernard Krisher, formerly of “Newsweek”, is raising money to build more than 300 small schools in rural Cambodia.

A school can be built for as little as $13,000 from a private donor, which is then matched by about $20,000 by one of the two international aid organizations. Schools built on land donated by a village include three to six classrooms, desks and chairs. Fully constructed schools are given to the village.

Follow the link for more info.

A tragic story of love and death, this article about a Cambodian widow and her young American husband who died in a fall while hiking, and about her struggle to be allowed to come to America, has a familiar theme.

Here’s a nice little piece about Cambodian classical dance and a group of dancers who fled the KR and kept Apsara alive.

A history like Cambodia does give the country an edge in somethings, and no shortage of contestants for wheelchair races could be one.

They’re preparing for competition next year in Beijing under banners that read: You don’t need legs to run like the wind.”

And that’s it for this week.

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Family photos

Posted in Family, International Adoption, Island life, Seychelles on May 28, 2007| 13 Comments »

While hopping around other blogs this morning, I realized that I’d not yet posted photos of my lovely family. I’ll take care of that right now.

In case we’ve not yet met, I’m Sandra, aka Mom, the adult male is Mark, often called Dad. The kids are Sam and Cj. At the moment, I’m 55, Mark is 40, Sam is 4.5 years old and Cj is 25 months. We live on Mahé, the biggest island in Seychelles … big being 4 miles wide and 17 miles long … near the village of Baie Lazare.

Beach familyBox o’ kids
Happy Cj
Sam makes cookies

Now that that’s done, I’ll get back to writing.

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Oprah, Angelina and Gay Flamingos, oh my!

Posted in Adoption, American thoughts, Angelina Jolie, Celebs on May 23, 2007| 2 Comments »

Adoption is such a hot topic these days.

In the little time I had to peruse the Huff Post this morning I found three and half adoption related stories on the home page.

The half is one about Oprah. Since she wasn’t raised by her parents, she sort of qualifies for the orphan designation, and with the story being about her father spilling beans about a baby she had at 14, I’m calling this related. Apparently, he’s writing a ‘tell some’ book, although the hype is that he knows it ALL.

I sincerely doubt that.

Move up the page a fraction of an inch, and Angelina Jolie is announcing she’s taking a year off to spend time with Brad and the kids. Good for her. I suspect she’ll end up even busier than when she’s working, though, as she’s not exactly the sit-around-and-eat-bonbons-while-the-kids-watch-Baby Einstein type.

I think I’ll make a prediction here that within the next twelve months there will be reports of new efforts on her part toward some worthy attempts at change for the positive in the world.

Over to the left side of the page, Chris Kelly’s blog slams critic Michael Medved for slamming Katherine Heigl for slamming birthin’ babies as a pastime … this while coming off her latest film, “Knocked Up” … and suggesting adoption as a viable alternative.

Apparently the urine-tinged Medved … don’t ask me … has some investment in women bringing forth life from between heaving thighs, or something, and considers any other way of building a family as letting down the side.

Good to see he’s taking hits over that attitude.

And finally, there’s the story about the adoptive gay flamingo couple.

“Fernando and Carlos are a same sex couple who have been known to steal other flamingos’ eggs by chasing them off their nest because they wanted to rear them themselves,” said WWT spokeswoman Jane Waghorn.

Gay flamingos are not uncommon, she added.

“If there aren’t enough females or they don’t hit it off with them, they will pair off with other males,” she said.

Well … yeah. Isn’t that what they all do?

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Fame in Czech

Posted in Adoption Advocacy, Expat Living, Seychelles on May 21, 2007| 5 Comments »

Man! Am I tired.

In addition to doing the got-two-little-kids-running-my-tail-off boogie that takes up so much of every day, writing a couple of thousand words that need to string together in some sort of interesting sense, getting a few of loads of laundry done, and giving the puppy a bath, I’ve just finished three hours sweating on the veranda with a chubby Czech guy who speaks no English, but wanted to know all there is to know about me.

I had well beyond my fifteen minutes long ago, having been on TV often in my younger years in the US and the UK, and on radio with the BBC and here with my own show. The cafe Mark and I ran for half a decade plus got coverage on travel programs in Europe every year, and back in January, an interview I’d given on adoption in Seychelles aired on CNN.

I’m not shy, and I usually have something to say … stop the phony gasps, please; I know you’re not one bit shocked … so I tend to okay interviews when I know the topic and feel I’m adding something to a conversation somewhere that’s worth my time.

I have been interviewed for non-English publications, but today was the first time questions came at me, one after the other, without a single recognizable word.

We spoke through an interpreter, and I have developed a new-found appreciation for those politicos who spend hours and days with interpreters poised like parrots on shoulders yapping away in simultaneous translations. It’s exhausting.

No matter how well grasped the idea that I wasn’t going to catch a word, eye contact was important … and polite … so the conversation had me feeling like I was living an ever-looping scene from “What’s Up, Tiger Lily?”.

Having someone who wasn’t understanding anything I said, much less getting my jokes, nodding and smiling and and giving that ‘You’re doin’ great!’ look while I was trying to explain some of the ins and outs of life as an expat and what it’s like being a mom again at fifty-something was disconcerting, to say the least.

Add to that a poopy Cj stinking up the joint and Sam trying to wrangle an extra dose of cookies and milk and the puppy making off with every chewable item she can sink her razor-sharps into, and the picture of the afternoon is close to complete.

The interview was for a book on women living strange lives … or something. You know; girl meets boy, moves to tropical island, adopts kids … that sort of stuff. I was told I could be inspiring to women in the Czech Republic.

Okay. Perhaps they need an example of nuts?

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Trash adoption, sell a book

Posted in Adoption, Adoption Advocacy, International Adoption on May 20, 2007| 32 Comments »

Due to popular demand, this post has moved to the International Adoption Blog.

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Adoption: A tool for Evangelism?

Posted in Adoption, Entitled to opinions on May 19, 2007| 4 Comments »

An article in the LA Times about Christian groups launching a “massive adoption campaign” is getting buzz, and because the report features a fifty-four year-old who’s now feeling as though he is “supposed” to bring kids into his family even though he’s feeling old and gray, I tried to get away with posting this on my Older Parent Blog, but that didn’t work out. Seems discussing anything to do with the Christian Right, no matter how fair-handed or restrained, is playing with fire.

Oh, well. That’s what personal blogs are for.

My gut reaction to the story’s subhead, “Thousands of churches will urge members to find homes with ‘a mommy and a daddy’ for the nation’s 115,000 orphans”, was a bit of a stomach lurch.

Adoption was portrayed as a tool for evangelism.

Urging families to adopt? Hmmm.

Much like China’s ‘One Child Policy”, or pressuring single woman to relinquish their children to two-parent families, or denying the option of adoption on the basis of weight or height or favorite Mexican dish … whatever … , actively encouraging across-the-board adoption because, “It’s time for the church to stop debating the Bible and start doing it,” could be stepping all over the toes of families deciding what is right for them.

Over the next six months, Christian media will be saturated with stories and ads touting adoption and foster care as a scriptural imperative, an order direct from God.

Yikes! And God says: Thou shalt adopt? Oh, that makes me very uncomfortable on so many levels.

First, I suppose, would have to be the idea that adopting is benevolence personified. No one should adopt a child because it’s the right thing to do, to chalk up Brownie points, to assuage a conscience or atone for sins. Doing so is a recipe for disaster. There is only one reason to build a family through adoption and that is a loving longing to raise a child.

Good deeds can include volunteering time and effort for the good of others or sponsoring someone else’s time and effort or contributing resources, but adoption is no more a good deed than is getting pregnant. Yes, of course it’s a good thing, but it is NOT a good deed.

With Shirley Temple no longer considered the accurate representation of the typical American orphan, the idea that adopting a child is a happily-ever-after-ending-in-the-making complete with a medley of cheerful tunes and a snappy shuffle-hop-step hit the skids long ago. Any advertising campaign designed to promote mass adoption is almost guaranteed to paint that picture. It wasn’t true in the bad old days of adoption and it’s not true now. Even though, “Tens of thousands of pastors will be urged to preach about the issue, set up support groups for couples considering taking in troubled kids … “, the overwhelming message is bound to smack of love conquers all, which many will attest is simply not true.

Efforts to convince people that they should adopt … “Many of these parents had not thought about coming forward to take children from the child-welfare system,” said Sharen Ford, a supervisor with the Colorado Division of Child Welfare Services. “It was the furthest thing from their minds,” until their pastors started preaching on the topic and inviting state caseworkers to visit with photo albums full of children waiting for homes, she said” … carry more than a hint of begging, possibly even pandering, and are very worrying.

I’ve written before about how unsettling I find it when adoption and abortion are packaged together, and I worry that this new ‘adoption campaign’ may carry a big chunk of that agenda under its umbrella.

Abortion and what constitutes ‘family’ can both be as much issues of politics as of faith, and tangling adoption into those webs scares the crap out of me. It’s enough a political hot potato without fanning the flames, and in our world the topics of abortion and gay families are lighter fluid.

As anyone who reads me at all either here or on my pro blogs at Adoption.com knows, I am a big fan of adoption. I am vociferous in my support of adoptive families and feel that age, location, wealth, ethnicity, choice of ice cream topping … whatever … do not limit a family’s ability to love and raise a child not born to them.

But, and here’s my big but again, this does not in any way mean everyone should do it. Most certainly there are many who should not be allowed, and many who should not be encouraged. We’re not talking puppies, here, but a life-long commitment to children who come complete with hearts and minds and personalities, and issues and traumas and very difficult problems.

This campaign may very well bring some wonderful people to the adoption table, introduce them to the idea and hold hands while decisions are reached. It might be that many children who would not have found families will through the efforts of the churches involved.

Then again, with the death of Viktor Matthy in the news again recently as his strictly religious parents are sentenced to four years in prison, it has to be said that the designation of “devoutly Christian couple” doesn’t guarantee squat.

The conversation may be a good one, but I sincerely hope the campaign will be tempered with a great deal of caution.

For hours of interesting reading on how not everyone is cut out for adoption and why this broad attempt at a mandate may not be a good idea, check out the following categories, posts and blogs:

Parenting Special Kids : Trauma
Parenting Special Kids: Disorders
RAD Blog: Disruption
Older Child Adoption
Foster Adoption

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Cambodian news: Kings, Norwegians, bombs and roadkill

Posted in Adoption, Cambodia, International Adoption on May 18, 2007| 2 Comments »

It was a week of events … sort of … in Cambodia, starting on Monday the 14th with King Norodom Sihamoni’s 54th birthday. The party went on for three days, the public holiday part of it anyway, and the papers were full of birthday wishes.

He looks great, too. Must be that dancer’s body thing. Cyd Charisse is in her 80s and still has great legs.

And how about this lalapalooza of a Phnom Penh celebration? Norwegian National Day.

Right. Bet that was a real blow out.

For a look at the film “Sentenced Home”, the story of three Cambodian refugees facing deportation from the US, see the Independent Lens site.

The information they give on how immigration law works is most interesting.

If you’re planning a trip to Cambodia via Thailand, a new route is being talked about.

A major battlefield during the peak of border conflicts with Cambodia in the 1970s, Ta Phraya has now turned into a potential gateway for tourists to visit Thailand’s neighbouring country. Ratri Saengrungrueng, chairwoman of a tour operators club in this eastern province, said the route to Cambodia from Ta Phraya, which is an alternative to the Aranyaprathet checkpoint, has gained popularity with tourists wishing to visit the famous Khmer temple ruins of Banteay Chhmar _ a gigantic 12th-century Bayon sanctuary housing a four-faced monument and a magnificent bas-relief depicting a 32-armed Bodhisattva lokeshvara.

Don’t try this at the drop of a hat, however, as border regulations are an obstacle, even for the Thais.

Cambodia has a Minister of Tourism. Hun Sen fired the last guy last week saying the “reshuffle was made to address some irregularities at the ministry to strive for further development of the mushrooming industry.”

The new minster, Thong Kon, says he’s ” … determined to strengthen the tourism industry by enhancing cooperation with the private sector.”

You know what that means, don’t you? More hotels, big development, probably a lot of golf courses. Ack! Progress. I hate it. Development! I spit in the eye of development. I am, obviously, in the minority on this.

Some big American companies are looking at doing business in Phnom Penh.

GE, ConocoPhillips, Oracle, Fed Ex and ITT Defense have all sent reps as part of a delegation that met with “senior Cambodian officials”.

Does the word “boom” ring a bell?

No? Well, how about “land grab”?

Koh Kong Sugar, one of at least 57 ventures awarded “economic land concessions” since 1992 under a plan to turn fallow fields into export crop plantations, is a glaring example of how Cambodia is being parcelled out to politically connected companies, land rights advocates said.

Land title is a mess in Cambodia, and has been ever since the Khmer Rouge turned almost the whole country into a giant collective. Records were destroyed and people were shifted all over the place. Afterwards, farms and homes took root wherever without much thought to legal deeds or claims.

In 2001, a law was passed allowing people to keep any land that they’ve worked for five years, but very few have the paperwork to prove it’s theirs.

Now, the country is looking like prime real estate in the making, so land value is skyrocketing.

Speaking of skyrockets … and that’s about as cheesy a segue I’ve ever manufactured … this story from zmag is fascinating.

In the fall of 2000, twenty-five years after the end of the war in Indochina, Bill Clinton became the first US president since Richard Nixon to visit Vietnam. While media coverage of the trip was dominated by talk of some two thousand US soldiers still classified as missing in action, a small act of great historical importance went almost unnoticed. As a humanitarian gesture, Clinton released extensive Air Force data on all American bombings of Indochina between 1964 and 1975. Recorded using a groundbreaking IBM-designed system, the database provided extensive information on sorties conducted over Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. Clinton’s gift was intended to assist in the search for unexploded ordnance left behind during the carpet bombing of the region. Littering the countryside, often submerged under farmland, this ordnance remains a significant humanitarian concern.

Going on from there, it details American bombing actions in the 60s and 70s. It’s astounding.

The data released by Clinton shows the total payload dropped during these years to be nearly five times greater than the generally accepted figure. To put the revised total of 2,756,941 tons into perspective, the Allies dropped just over 2 million tons of bombs during all of World War II, including the bombs that struck Hiroshima and Nagasaki: 15,000 and 20,000 tons, respectively. Cambodia may well be the most heavily bombed country in history.

And tragic.

Also tragic, the death of Kate Webb, on of the world’s true heros, and one of the few people on the planet I would have given a lot just to meet once.

Everything that a reporter should be, Kate was what every young woman with a dream of a life in journalism should aim toward, although very, very few will have the guts to do that.

Covering every major Asian conflict of her time, she put herself on the line over and over. Imprisoned by the Vietnamese army in Cambodia in 1971 and coming very close to death in Afghanistan more than once, she also worked in Indonesia, Pakistan, Philippines, Sri Lanka and Hong Kong after years in Viet Nam, and covered the Gulf War in 1991.

“She was a pioneer for female reporters and a role model for all foreign correspondents. She was one of the legends,” said veteran Agence France-Presse journalist Chris Lefkow, who covered the 1991 Gulf War with her.

The world is one Kate Webb poorer now, and that’s a crying shame.

Not gone, contrary to scientific thought for the past few years, is one of the meanest, scariest sounding creatures I’ve heard of in a long time, the Cantor’s giant softshell turtle.

What’s scary about a turtle?

Well, this one grows up to 6 feet long, buries itself in mud so no one can see where it waits, has a strike faster than a cobra and a bite that can crush bone. This in a country where no one wears shoes!

It may look like roadkill, but if you see one before it sees you, get the hell out of its way!

And that’s all I can do today.
Canot’s giant soft shell turtle

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When crap is just crap

Posted in Adoption, Adoption Advocacy, Celebs, Entitled to opinions, International Adoption on May 16, 2007| 5 Comments »

Due to popular demand, this post has moved to the International Adoption Blog.

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Election Day in Seychelles on Birth Mothers Day

Posted in Adoption, Seychelles on May 12, 2007| 1 Comment »

Things were calm at the polls, and aside from fairly long queues waiting for the stations to open at 7am, there were no crowds, just a steady stream throughout the day according to news reports. Early estimates predict a turnout of between 75% and 80%, but that won’t be official until late tonight when the winners are announced. I’ll be sound asleep, and more than willing to wait for the news until sometime tomorrow.

By the way, tomorrow is not Mother’s Day here, but just the same I’m wishing everyone who calls themselves a mom a lovely day.

Somewhere along the line, today has been appointed Birth Mothers Day in parts of the world … well, the US, at least … so I have spent sometime thinking about the women who brought Sam and Cj into the world. I hope they are well and that their lives are as happy and healthy as can be, and I thank them.

All in all, an interesting Saturday.

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