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Archive for November 4th, 2010

LIFE

Since we’re heading toward the end of another year, I’m starting the mental wrap … and rap … of 2010 and coming to some compelling conclusions. Yes, I’m sure I’ll be sharing more of these than is possibly wise over the next weeks, but there’s one that hit me upside the head this morning that cannot go without being harvested for blog fodder.

It has come to me in some weird bolt of lightning from a clear sky … it is lovely here today, but that’s merely an aside … that at the beginning of this year my love life officially received the XXX rating.

Although some might be ashamed to find themselves rated XXX, while others would be bursting with pride, for me it’s nothing more than the way it is. Neither an achievement, nor a humiliation, one thing leading to another, as it goes, leading to this.

Perhaps it’s my present work writing erotica that prompts this specific self-labeling, but there is no denying the assignation … or designation for those sidelined by the “ass” bit in a post about the Triple X … and I do know that I’m far from a rare woman in having earned three of the bloody things. (My mother is XXXX, so there’s something in the genes, perhaps.)

It has taken a lot of fortitude and no little imagination to reach the point where XXX marks the spot I inhabit, and that tendency I was born with to throw caution to the wind and indulge passion. Sure, it turns and bites me on the ass … and, yes, sometimes I even like that … but living and loving any other way has never seemed an option.

I put too much into it. I know this. Too often I’m full-bore, heedless, yes, yes, YES!

Three of those yeses earned me my X1, X2 and X3. In order of appearance: Stan, Scott and Mark.

Sorry, if you want to read about graphic sex buy the next book when it comes, but this post is about having been married, then unmarried, three times, and if you feel that I’ve lured you in with hints of satisfaction … well … welcome to the club … that’s happened to me three fucking times. Okay … three times that involved paperwork … more that never got that far.

Yes … yes, yes, yes led to ex, ex, ex, and although there’s probably a poem in there somewhere I’m in no mood to put this to verse today.

Rather, I’m pondering the possibilities of ever again contemplating heading toward the end of the alphabet that begins with M and ends in X, since that has been my only Xperience … although I’ve done bloody well with everything up to about F. (I did do the E thing for some years, and still have the ring, thankyouverymuch, but it hit L and that was that.)

It could be best that I take my XXX rating and rest on my laurels. Okay, rest won’t happen since I’m not one for ZZZZZZZZ as a steady diet, but I have no desire to add another X.

I now have a toy I call by the anglicised version of what in Spanish is pronounced Haysoooose , so named because, although I am far from religious, calling that out comes natural when I do. It is true he’s not much of a conversationalist, no challenge at all and missing all but the one limb, but I know where he is and what he’s up to, and we do have our rating in common.

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