Bloggers at Adoption.com are joining forces from all sides of the adoption triad to address discrimination faced by a Missouri family in their efforts to adopt the child of a blood relation who chose them to be her son’s parents.
There are many occasions when points of view from adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents differ greatly, and this sometimes creates friction between the relevant parties in adoption. In this case, however, representatives from each group share outrage at what they perceive as a blatant disregard for the wishes, deliberate choices and the welfare of everyone involved.
The story of Gary and Cynthia Stocklaufer should be a “best possible” scenario in a situation always fraught with loss: a loving couple, parents to one adopted child, are ready, willing and able to add a little brother to the family; while at the same time a cousin of Mr. Stocklaufer has given birth and handpicked these relations to become her baby’s adoptive parents.
In a world where crisis pregnancies often lead to lives of misery and suffering, this case is an example of how things can go right when things go wrong.
A problem arose, however, when the Stocklaufers appeared in court after months of fostering the child, now called Max, in a step to move through the adoption process.
The judge in the case deemed Gary Stocklaufer too fat to father.
Adoptee blogger, Abby, Open Adoption blogger and adoptive mom, Deb Donatti, and Birth Mother, Coley S., have all written posts supporting the Stocklafer’s adoption plan and criticizing the Missouri court making the ruling that removed Max from Gary’s and Cynthia’s custody and placed him with strangers in another foster care situation.
Each blogger has come to the issue from their personal experience, and each offers a unique perspective on how wrong and how damaging this ruling is, and they back up their points with examples taken from real-life adoptions involving real parents and real children.
Deb Donatti has gone so far as to produce a template than can be used by concerned citizens wishing to voice their disapproval of this discriminatory action via a letter to a commissioner acting on behalf of the Missouri judicial system and encourages participation by those who may choose to involve themselves.