Sam got a camera from Uncle T and Auntie R for Christmas, so he was the official photographer for the holiday.
Enjoy …
The discochristmas tree ... it spins!
KJ and Cj hanging out Christmas morn
Calina Christmas morning
Sam, Kimmy and Cj
Fairy bearing gift
Christmas dinner at Gay's
Christmashead Murphy
Sam and his pal, Estelle
Cj posing ... as per instuctions ... for Sam
Posted in Children, Family, Friends, Island life, Seychelles | Tagged Calina Norton, Christmas, Kim Pockpas | 1 Comment »
Friend steps
Portia rather dropped in from out of the sky, which was a bonus, and we put her on a plane back to South Africa this morning. I’ve only known her for a few days, but she fit well into the family and is already missed.
Magnar has been around for much longer, although not to the same degree as he has been this week. (Note the photo of the exploding Norwegian and get an idea of his impact on my veranda.)
Magnar and I are having a big party here tomorrow to mark the occasion of his 36th birthday … photos and blog posts to follow. What we’re not talking about, not even for a minute if I can help it, is the fact that it will also be his going-away party.
Yes, Magnar leaves for Norway Sunday morning, and whether or not he comes back is still up in the air and depends on factors we have little control over … although I am doing my damnedest to ensure a return soon next year.
Just writing that brings tears to my eyes, but this blog is supposed to be therapeutic, so I must slog through the feelings his imminent departure conjures.
To tell the truth, I really don’t know how I’m going to make it without him.
Magnar has saved me, and not only through his tremendous hugs and comforting love, but also because he’s a bloody annoying nag that can fix anything. He has taken such good care of me and the kids, leveled my road, sorted out computer issues, set up my phone so I can access the Internet from anywhere, taught Sam the value of hard work and challenges, and generally set the bar for all of us inspiring the best, and not just to make him proud, but because he sees us for what we are and believes in us.
(He just saw me crying while writing and noticed how much I need a hug. He knows I’m writing about him, so asked me to include something about how often I’ve left him snot-covered. Feckin’ Norwegian!)
People come into my life, then they go … although never completely. With the Internet, I now have dear, dear friends I’ve never met, and for those who have shared my veranda a way to stay in touch every day and forever. And how great is that?
But change is a part of life, and with island life a predictable part of the process. I’m much better at airport good-byes than I was the first few years here, and see them coming years in advance, but some are impossible.
This one will be impossible, and the only hope I have of not falling to bits is to be so hungover that my head stops my heart from noticing.
Yes, I have wonderful friends … the best in the world … now they just have to stop leaving me.
The detritus of an exploding Norwegian
The family ... this morning
Posted in Family, Friends, Island life, Seychelles | Tagged Magnar Mork, Portia Vries | 11 Comments »
Portia ... stong in many ways
Take yesterday, for an example …
A while back I was “friended” by a young woman in South Africa. She sent her “add” invite to me because I’m listed in the “Seychelles network”, and she was engaged to a man here, so was interested in meeting people living in the country.
We “poked” back and forth and followed each others lives as posted on our “walls”, so when I read that she was planning a trip over, I sent her my phone number and suggested she give a call so we could meet in person.
She had just returned to SA from the Commonwealth Games in Cyprus where she took the gold in her weightlifting class … an impressive achievement … and wanted to surprise her hubby-to-be.
Wish I’d had a chance to warn her about Seychellois men …
Upon finding out that it was her to be surprised … him, not so much … she was not only heartbroken, but stuck — nowhere to stay but his empty flat, knowing no one and with a ticket that had her here until the 11th of January.
I was very pleased to get her call, but less so to learn of her situation. Of course, my immediate reaction was: Get your butt down here, Sweetie.
I picked her up in town, brought her home and dropped her right into the fray that is Magnar packing and Calina and Kim doing a sleepover … a full house!
With “dumped” being a familiar word on my veranda, there was is no shortage of commiseration … or wine … so she settled in, vented, bonded and now feels like one of this fab little family I’ve grown over the past months.
And all because of an online social intro that led to a much-needed bolt hole and friendships that will go on for ages.
I won’t even go into the phone calls from Switzerland that had me sharing my moon in the wee hours of this morning …
Wow.
Amazing.
Photo Credit: Magnar Mork
Posted in Family, Friends, Island life, Seychelles | Tagged Commonwealth Games, facebook, Magnar Mork, South Africa, Switzerland | 4 Comments »
Magnar and Calina ... beauties both
One thing I can say for not having a husband in the house anymore … it sure leaves room, and time, for friends.
Over the past week I’ve had Calina staying with me, and Magnar most days and nights, as well, and it’s been great. Relaxed and easy, it’s felt a bit like an extended episode of The Waltons, only with different accents, Calina being French and English and Magnar, Norwegian, so very little of West Virginia happening vocally here.
Goodnight, Calina!
Goodnight, Sam!
Goodnight, Cj!
Goodnight, Magnar!
Goodnight, Sandra!
Last night the kids went to Grandma’s house and we big kids went to a Christmas Party at our friend Deb’s house, and, yes, there are photos …
The three of us ...
Sleeping Beauty ... the nap before the party
Note: Calina really is Sleeping Beauty, or was … at Disneyland Paris. Just imagine her in a blond wig and you get the picture. Smile and wave … smile and wave …
Posted in Expat Living, Family, Friends, Island life, Seychelles | Tagged Disneyland, The Waltons | 3 Comments »
When it comes to news sources, I use many. From the Huffington Post (a fabulous online publication with the good sense to employ my brilliant niece), to the Adoption Institute, from the the BBC to CNN and back again, there’s a world of info at our fingertips, and anything that must be known can … with a good salt shaker in hand, some common sense and a willingness to learn and listen carefully.
That said, I must admit that one of my daily “must reads” has little to do with learning, but everything to do with a shaker full and common sense.
Yes, that would be The Onion … the premier site for satire dressed in news clothing, and every bit as biting as such an animal should be.
Take, for example, this article, titled: Study: 38 Percent Of People Not Actually Entitled To Their Opinion.
Now if it’s not a sticky bit from my own brain extrapolated out into three paragraphs of undiluted poetic slap-upside-the-head-with-a-sackfull-of-nickels!
In a surprising refutation of the conventional wisdom on opinion entitlement, a study conducted by the University of Chicago’s School for Behavioral Science concluded that more than one-third of the U.S. population is neither entitled nor qualified to have opinions.
Well … yeah …
Living internationally, as I do, I personally wouldn’t limit the “study results” to Americans, but since The Onion is US based, I’ll leave them to it.
Read it and weep … and laugh … and question just about everything about the world making any sense at all.
And … when you’re done … eat a piece of my history with this vid of the Byrds, recalled with fondness — the moment I saw it can be placed in context — doing a TV version of bible verses with “Turn Turn Turn”.
Enjoy …
Posted in Adoption, Expat Living, Older women, On getting older, The USA from the outside in, World politics | Tagged Adam Pertman, BBC, CNN, E.A. Hanks, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, Huffington Post, The Byrds, The Onion | 1 Comment »
Cj ... one happy girl!
Seems she’d tossed her cookies, then stoically tidied and moved.
What is it with this kid?
Never in my life have I known a child as calm and collected as my Cj, and I can’t help but wonder how these traits will serve her as she grows.
She’s the happiest kid I’ve ever known … if given the choice between happy or un, she chooses happy every time, and happily. She smiles even when fighting tears, or tries to, and pulls herself together after tragedy faster than most adults.
A few hours later, she was crying. When I went to her she only said, “I want my Sam”, so I helped in to her brother’s bed again and she immediately settled and slept peacefully until 5:30 this morning, our usual wake-up time.
(Have to add here that dear Kim … off to London for a week … called Calina, and it seems she was ill last night, too. She was on about being all brave and stuff … right up to the point that Calina reminded her that Cj is THREE. Oops.)
Is there a genetic element to Cj’s stoicism? Some influence from me? Did spending the first 13 weeks of her life in an orphanage somehow toughen her up and make her determined to always look on the bright side?
Or is it just who she is?
Not that it matters.
We are all, when it comes down to it, no more or less than the sum of parts, and who we are.
I just happen to have the supreme good fortune to add to who I am the title of Cj’s mom”.
Posted in Adoption, Cambodia, Children, Family, Friends, International Adoption | Tagged sick kids | 1 Comment »
Life is a funny old thing, isn’t it?
Ups.
Downs.
In between ups and downs.
Way up ups and way down downs and everything in between, like a perpetual elevator ride with a lunatic at the controls.
From sub-sub-basement (heartbreak, betrayal, misery, pain) to penthouse (rapture, joy, dizzy love with icing on top), we traverse at the whim of the insane controller up and down the shaft … often getting it as we do.
All I can say is … THANK GAWD FOR ELEVATOR MUSIC!!!
A few months back, when my lift was just beginning to emerge from the depths far beneath the earth’s surface, my dear friend Tisha put a CD together, and posted it to me. She titled it “Lowdown, Cheatin’, Lyin’ Man Music”, and included on it 18 songs specially selected for their capacity to either commiserate with my pain or prompt a new search for my own bootstraps.
Carrie Underwood’s, Before He Cheats is one in the latter category, and playing it full blast in MY new car … emphasis on MY … and singing along at the top of my lungs still makes me smile every time.
My great bud from back in high school days, Virginia, with whom I’ve had the amazing good fortune to reconnect after 30-something years, today sent me lyrics to a tune from “Phantom of the Opera” that she knew I’d find poignant this week:
Child of the wilderness,
Born into emptiness,
Learn to be lonely,
Learn to find your way in darkness……
Who will be there for you?
Comfort and care for you?
Learn to be lonely….
Learn to be your one companion.
Ever dreamed….out in the world,
There are arms to hold you?
You’ve always known,
You’re heart was on its own.
So laugh in your loneliness,
Child of the wilderness,
Learn to be lonely,
Learn how to love…
Life that is lived alone.
Learn to be lonely,
Life can be lived,
Life can be loved…..alone.
I’ve already posted the vid of my theme song when I start doing the Country show on Paradise FM next year … a song I listen to often that makes me laugh every time, and I can’t tell you how good that feels.
There are penthouse songs, too, of course, but I’m not quite there right now, although when my friend and co-worker on Adoption Under One Roof, Julie, sent me this link to an ASL version of “So Are You To Me” by Eastmountainsouth today during a long chat, I felt a jolt upwards.
As Bette Davis said in “All About Eve” …
Hold on!
We’re in for a bumpy ride …
This trip we’re on may not always be fun, but at least we can sing.
Posted in Friends, Older women, On getting older, Writing for fun, WTF?, Younger men | Tagged Bette Davis, Carrie Underwood, Phantom of the Opera, YouTube | 5 Comments »
Wear YOUR Red Ribbon
I’m from California, as longtime readers know, and one thing we Californians have experienced is the devastation AIDS has brought to families, friends, communities … the love lost, the hearts broken, the bonds torn.
I don’t know anyone from home who hasn’t been personally touched by this disease. Not one.
I lost a cousin and dozens of dear, dear friends over the years, and to this day not only miss all, I still have with me … although halfway around the world … my darling Robbie, who has been living with AIDS for 26 years.
Robbie is one of my oldest friends. We worked together at a zoo in California where we both loved the same chimps and orang utans, and where we did almost everything together.
After his partner of 17 years died of the disease, he moved in across the street from me, and every night we would watch movies and talk and eat and have a beer or two, and every Sunday during football season we would hang out on his bed and watch every game we could. (He’s a big Dallas fan … I was hot for the 49ers)
I did my first AIDS Day march with him, then every year after, and he was sitting next to me the first time I saw “Philadelphia” … made me wonder if when I went to see Syble if I shouldn’t have done that with someone with a multiple personality.
Through my work writing in the adoption world, I have had the good fortune of knowing families who have adopted HIV+ children, intentionally, and since the disease in Western nations no longer conveys an immediate death sentence have had the wonderful experience of adding these little wonders to their lives.
AIDS. Learn about it. Do something about it. Support efforts to do what can be done to rid the world of this illness. Speak up when issues come up. Encourage those you bring into office to take on the challenges and support research, education and treatment programs.
Here are some links to follow for more info on how to be proactive in this fight:
Posted in Adoption, Children, Family, Friends, International Adoption, orphans, The United Nations, World politics | Tagged AIDS, Dallas Cowboys, San Francisco 49ers | 2 Comments »
Getting back into writing on issues of the world’s children, I’m struck this morning by a story the BBC is running today on the present state of affairs in the euphemistically named Democratic Republic of Congo.
Anyone who has been paying any attention at all is aware that, like the ongoing situation in Sudan, the DRC is a mess in large areas of the country and has been for years.
Of course, the children get the short end of the stick … or the sharp end, as is very often the case … and if you can stomach it, you can watch a vid on the page that illustrates the point.
This is NOT news … well, not to me. But it does seem to come as a surprise … surprise, surprise … to the UN.
Good old Ban Ki-moon is doing the usual Sec. Gen. tap dance thing of announcing a report … 28 pages of a report … that expresses concern.
Big whip! And SO too little and too late.
In his 28-page report for the UN Security Council, Mr Ban says the human rights situation in DR Congo is a “cause for grave concern”.
He states that elements of the Congolese army and national police “were responsible for a large number of serious human rights violations during the reporting period, namely arbitrary executions, rape, torture and cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment”.
Rebels, including Gen Nkunda’s Tutsi CNDP and the Rwandan Hutu FDLR militia – some of whose fighters are believed to have taken part in the 1994 Rwandan genocide – are meanwhile accused of perpetrating “serious human rights abuses with impunity”.
These include “mass killings, torture, abductions, forced recruitment of children, forced displacement and destruction of [refugee] camps, force labour, sexual violence”, the report adds.
The Congolese national civilian and military intelligence services are also accused of making arbitrary arrests, followed by “torture and extortion”.
Do I hear a “duh” resounding?
The Security Council did just approve sending another 3,000 “peacekeepers” to an area that has seen somewhere around a quarter of a million people displaced … no one knows how many are dead, so don’t need to bother with becoming refugees … so, gee, that should make a big diff. Or not.
Once again, I’m forced to harp on the useless of the UN and wonder how many children who have been orphaned, tortured, raped, pressed into soldiering, prostitution, starvation or other horrors most would rather not think about.
I’ll also drop in a bit about the impossibility of offering any of these children a family while I again wonder about the segment of the world that considers international adoption a bad thing … cultural genocide that robs a child of their birthright to die in the country that bred them.
Gee. Why is this a one-note song?
Posted in Adoption, Adoption Advocacy, Children, International Adoption, NaBloPoMo, orphans, The United Nations, World politics | Tagged BBC, Congo, Cultural genocide | 6 Comments »
Kim (South Africa), Sam (Cambodia/Seychelles/UK), Calina (France) ... all together on my couch.
Not only did we have people from Seychelles, Cambodia, the US, the UK, Norway and Australia here, Sam also received birthday greetings … via Skype, facebook and emails from a whole bunch of folks in America, Sis … New Zealand-born, now living near Portland, OR … Sas and Miss B … born in India … in Luxembourg, Liv-Synnove in Norway, Calum in Kenya, Nadiera in Sri Lanka, Mervyn in China, Clint in Lebanon, Oscar in Finland, and friends living here from France, South Africa, and so on.
The fact that the world is small should be an easy one for all to take onboard, but one that appears to elude far too many on this tiny, interconnected planet. Our differences pale in comparison to our similarities, yet seem to get most of the focus outside social networks like facebook and myspace, and blogs, where people tend to go to look for like-minded folks to share with.
We’re a simple species, apparently, and although we can conceive the most amazing ideas and birth creatures that bring us together in ways unimaginable just a few years ago, we tend to lose the plot more than we follow.
I can only hope that the closeness that happens when people from so many different places and backgrounds communicate … I’m not talking about the pinheaded fools who try to turn chat to porn every chance they get — boring, stupid gits, they are — but those who build bridges and lifelong friendships with people they never would have had a chance to know before the world shrunk … will eventually make a huge difference for the positive and lead us away from our base nature and move us into a new realm where we are happier to share hugs than lob grenades.
And send birthday wishes to a little boy in Seychelles.
Cool.
Posted in Adoption, Cambodia, Children, England, Family, Friends, Fun, International Adoption, Island life, NaBloPoMo, Seychelles, Uncategorized | Tagged Luxembourg, New Zealand, Norway, Skype, Sri Lanka | 5 Comments »
A collection of my short stories:
I'm in this one, too ...
And I'm in here, as well ...
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | ||||||
| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 |
| 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
| 30 | 31 | |||||
Paradise Preoccupied 