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Archive for the ‘International Adoption’ Category

One of the poop nuggets often dragged out by those opposed to international adoption is that western families hoping to bring a child into their fold prompt abductions from birth families in poor countries.

That this sometimes substantiated, but often not, allegation misses the point is clear to anyone who spends time in poverty stricken places, as child abandonment and lots of other nasty stuff are facts of life when disease, starvation, war and other realities abound.

As this report from the BBC illustrates, there is a side to this coin, as well, one that is never mentioned while adoption-bashing: bad people stealing children for profit is not an adoption issue, nor is it adoption-driven, but a crime that carried out all the time without international adoption having a thing to do with it.

In China, a country that has made international adoption more and more difficult as it touts its ability to keep its house in order, thousands of children are being kidnapped and sold to Chinese families in need of boys to fill their ancestral obligations.

The demand for children is driven by a deep-seated preference in southern China for sons, boys to keep the family name alive who have a duty to care for aged parents.

And some parents are prepared to buy a stolen child if they can not have a boy of their own.

As happens with all subjects uncomfortable to government officials in Beijing … over-crowding orphanages, abandoned children, HIV infection rates, child abuse, etc …. speaking publicly is not appreciated.

Some parents say local officials often do not want to deal with cases of stolen children. They say they have been warned to keep quiet and not campaign publicly to find their children lest they disturb social order.

Pointing out that children are often considered commodities neglects the fact that human beings are bought and sold every day in this world. Trafficking and slavery exist in our world, and frequently with no fear of negative consequences for those making money out of the trade.

Removing the option of international adoption does not stop this, nor even slow it down. It does, however, deny the option of family for thousands of kids whose birth parents would wish it.

As long as there are horrid people in the world … and that’s guaranteed … bad things will happen to good people. Sometimes good things can happen, and very often international adoption is a good thing for all the good people involved.

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Because that’s how we do things here, Sam gets a YouTube vid for a birthday gift.

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http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-10/24/content_12315301.htm

PHNOM PENH, Oct. 24 (Xinhua) — Cambodia’s National Assembly on Friday approved a new law for foreign adoptions, setting up criteria for children to be adopted, the eligibility of potential adoptive parents and the procedures for legal adoptions by families living overseas, local newspaper the Phnom Penh Post reported on Saturday.

All 72 parliamentarians in attendance voted to pass the two final chapters of the law after about one hour of debate, it said. Debate on the lO-chapter draft law began on Wednesday.

The law is aimed at ensuring that Cambodian children adopted by foreign parents, “grow up in a family environment, a happy environment, with love and understanding in order to develop fully.”

For a child to be adopted by foreigners, he or she must be younger than 8 years old, except in the cases of special needs. The children must be living in an orphanage, under the care of the Social Affairs Ministry, or have poor or disabled parents, the law said.

Moreover, under the law, adoptive parents must be between 30 and 45 years old, and should have, at the most, one other child, who must be younger than 22 years old.

According to statistics presented by Ith Sam Heng, minister of social affairs, more than 20,000 Cambodian children live in state-run orphanages, and about 130,000 live in private facilities. He added that adoptive parents in the U.S. alone took home 1,415 Cambodian children between 1998 and 2003, although the U.S. government officially suspended adoptions in 2001 over fraud concerns.

And Britain cut off Cambodian adoptions in 2004, while France implemented a temporary ban between 2003 and 2006. Australians are also forbidden from adopting, as the two countries have never signed an agreement on adoption.

Ith Sam Heng was quoted by the Post as saying that the law would be “seriously implemented,” adding that he had not heard of any bad things happening to Cambodian children after being adopted abroad.

He said a delegation from the ministry had already visited adoptive families in Canada, France, Italy and the U.S. Some foreign parents had also written annual reports to the government describing the conditions of the children, including photos, about health and education, he added.

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As regular readers know, my household is international in every sense. One of the results of being born in one place and living in others can be dual nationality, or, in some cases, even triple the legal connections to countries.

My hope is that sooner or later we humans, with our inbred tendencies to inbreed out of xenophobic compulsion, will grasp the idea that divisions are arbitrary, and as bipedal primates we are more similar than we are different no matter where the heck we popped onto the planet.

Not that we’ve grown any closer to accepting that basic fact over the centuries, as illustrated in a recent post, and with so much at stake … power and money being at the root, of course … keeping divisions in place makes a lot of sense to a lot of people.

“Divide and conquer’, also known as “divide and rule”, divide et impera, is such an easy strategy that most don’t even think to question the wisdom, true necessity and history of this long-standing tactic.

The use of this strategy was imputed to administrators of vast empires, including the Roman and British, who were charged with playing one tribe against another to maintain control of their territories with a minimal number of imperial forces. The concept of “Divide and Rule” gained prominence when India was a part of the British Empire, but was also used to account for the strategy used by the Romans to take Britain, and for the Anglo-Normans to take Ireland. It is said that the British used the strategy to gain control of the large territory of India by keeping its people divided along lines of religion, language, or caste, taking control of petty princely states in India piecemeal.

Extrapolate it out globally and wonder why, in today’s world of instant communication, ease of peregrination and cultural blending, the need for lines drawn on maps exists.

How much energy goes into defending borders that are nothing more than artificial designations, and how many people die in the process of attempting to keep invisible lines etched in sand holding back floods?

Of course, keeping the enthusiasm for an outpouring of resources and blood is of the utmost importance, so whipping up a constant frenzy of “we’re better … and different … than you are” is a mission passionately embraced.

It’s not like fencing folks in and calling them a People solves the problem of unity. We maintain our tribal affiliations no matter what neighborhood we’re tied to, so eliminating a a few specifications would hardly rob us of an opportunity to look down upon our fellow man with scorn over eye color or choice of peanut butter.

So why not get past the archaic notion that soil defines?

Well, for one thing, a lot of people would be out of work. Keeping things separate is big business and multiple governments employ millions. If, for example, geography, not politics, dictated affiliation and Canada, the US and Mexico were to be considered the same place with one set of grand plans and one set of workers charged with overseeing those plans a lot of offices in all three places would be empty.

This is a ridiculous idea, though, since Canadians, Americans and Mexicans represent completely different species.

Aliens, that’s the word.

Oh! Gee. That’s not correct. They are no more different from each other than are Oregonians from New Yorkers, yet those admittedly diverse groups manage to exist within the same broader borders.

So, where does the advantage lie? What do we get out of divisions, other than conquered and ruled, and why do we not ask this question often?

Wondering how I got on this kick today?

It all started with an emailed newsletter from the US Embassy in Mauritius … another small island nation in the Indian Ocean that spends a fortune making sure its government is a distinct entity … that included the following:

Almost all male U.S. citizens (including dual nationals) and male aliens living in the U.S. who are 18 through 25 are required to register with the Selective Service.

If a man does not register, he could be prosecuted and fined up to $250,000 and/or be jailed for up to five years. Registration is a requirement to qualify for Federal student aid, job training benefits, and most Federal employment. Even if not tried, a man who fails to register with the Selective Service before turning age 26 may find that some doors are permanently closed.

As the mother of a Cambodian-born son living in Seychelles with a British passport I can’t help but react to this negatively and fall back to thinking that begging the American government to make Sam a citizen will not be a priority.

The world is a small place, we are citizens of this world, and I do my damnedest to teach my kids that there are no limits to where they can contribute and to whom they can feel connected.

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It’s time for me to let outrage spill into the blog again, and although I could pound on about health care in America, the abomination in Burma, the double standard on internationally adopted children and much more, this gets my dander itching this morning …

It is now legal in Afghanistan for a man to starve his wife to death if she refuses to have sex with him.

Rape, of course, is not an issue, as that goes without saying. Beating to death is common enough and usually without repercussions, and now starvation is condoned.

And how will the world react? With its usual impotence …

Western leaders and Afghan women’s groups were united in condemning an apparent reversal of key freedoms won by women after the fall of the Taliban.

Oh, the dreaded “united condemning”!

Shall we wait to see how much food that puts into an Afghan woman who’s not in the mood for abuse?

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Filed under the “If I were in the USA” list of events I would absolutely NOT miss …

The Adoption Institute’s annual “Taste of Spring” benefit, set for the 14th of May in New York City.

Not only does the Institute provide vital resources, research every aspect of the adoption world and experience, throw their mighty support behind valiant efforts for reform and education and work tirelessly for a better world for children and families therefore earning my eager support, I would give a whole heck of a lot to share space with their director, my personal hero and … dare I say it? … good friend, the amazing Adam Pertman.

Oh, yeah … and Hugh Jackman will be there, too.

The event itself will be a culinary delight, with some of the best restaurants in Manhattan participating.

So … make me jealous as hell and go!

You can download the invite here.

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With thanks to all who filled in the PP survey, and who asked for more about my kids here … here’s a vid I put together in tribute to the beauty and sweetness of Cj … my youngest, my baby, my darling little girl.

Enjoy!

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Three stories about orphans in Africa in today’s news are overlapping interestingly.

The first is a follow the the story I posted recently on the new flap over Madonna’s efforts to adopt again, and the reaction of a guy named Nutt from Save the Children.

He’s now ramping up the media attention with an appearance on CNN and rehashing his hash.

Well, would it not be better to solve the problems of Malawi and help Malawians solve their own problems by educating their children and feeding their children and helping their children so they can get off that cycle of poverty? Not just literally transporting the whole population of Malawi.

That dovetails nicely into this report out of Ghana that starts off with numbers:

Available statistics collated by Ghana AIDS Commission indicate that about 160,000 children have been made orphans through HIV/AIDS in the country.

Then, this one out of Kenya states that 2.5 million orphans in that country will be shifted from children’s homes to relatives.

It seems that the Kenyan government is looking to “trace the orphan’s relatives” because, according to the Minister of Gender and Children’s Affairs, “We want to ensure that these orphans lead a humane life. We want to link them with relatives, where they will live a good life with other children.”

Good luck with that.

How families as poor as most in Kenya are are to be expected to absorb 2.5 million children, in addition to the large families they already have, is a question not addressed, although the country is in the process of amending their Children Act to penalize abusers.

“We have had an increase in defilement, child labour and child neglect cases, and the amendments will ensure the perpetrators are equally punished,” she warned.

… Kenyan children were at a higher risk of trafficking since the country was a transit, selling and receiving centre.

Unhelpfully, Mr. Nutt chose to lob a crap grenade into any potential discussions that might include the fact that there are so few options for so many children:

But we know from our case studies in working in Liberian orphanages that in many cases, these children are [picked] off the Internet, without much research going on, and sometimes it doesn’t work out, and the children can be sent back to their own country. And all that has happened is that that child’s life has been messed around with.

I’d like to see his stats on that, then sit down with some Liberian kids without families their opinions.

So … what do we have here?

Save the Children attempting to prop up the notion that organizations like theirs have it within their power to turn Africa around and make it a peachy place to be born … soliciting donations all the way.

Ghana trying hard to address the issues of the devastation of AIDS in their part of the continent through education and development projects … just up Save the Children’s alley and part of their mandate for the past 30+ years. And, gee, problem solved, heh?

Kenya passing the buck big time as they shove 2.5 million kids off their rolls and into homes where they will do little but add to the strain of families barely making it, thereby guaranteeing that many of these children will be worked, starved and abused.

Three stories, one news day.

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Here we go again …

OMG! Celebrity adoption in the news … yawn … and it jump starts the backlash. Sheesh.

Okay, so it is Madonna, and although she may be named after the muthah of all mothers (in the Saddam Hussein sense, that is) there is consensus that June Cleaver she is not, but …

For Save the Children to react like this just annoys the socks I don’t wear right off my itchy feet.

Save the Children spokesman Dominic Nutt told the BBC’s Newshour programme: “For the most part so-called orphans in poor countries tend to have family still available to them, if not actually a parent still living.

“It is vital, we say, that children should not be taken abroad to be looked after but should be cared for in their own environment by their own community, ideally by their own family, particularly their extended family.”

Yeah … I do note that the guy’s a Nutt, which he proves nicely with:

“You cannot literally take every poor child who may only have one parent living, or no parent living, across the world and transport them all into Kensington in London. It’s not a solution.”

Gee … I wonder how much he gets paid to come up with such simplistic tripe?

Here’s a hint to agenda from him: “The thing to do is to support the community, to support local agencies and charities who can look after the child so that the child is at least cared for in their community.” (emphasis added)

Okay. One more time …

Malawi is in Africa. Much of Africa is dirt poor, disease-ridden, starvation-plagued, violent, corrupt and over-populated to the point where quality of life issues begin and end with millions of kids being dead before they are five years old.

Two kids who could end up in the category of dead will instead grow up in a rarefied atmosphere with an obnoxious mother who has more money than the GNP of some African countries.

This does in no way indicate that every poor orphan in the world will suffer the same fate as David and Mercy, nor does it mean that Save the Children execs are going to be put out of a job any time soon.

It may mean that the world will suffer the public personality flaws of two more publicity-hungry spoiled brats in a few years, but Paris Hilton … not an adoptee, by the way … will have faded into a Gabor sister by then and the rags will be needing new fodder.

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Sam got a cool camera for Christmas from Uncle and Auntie … thank you!!! … and shoots and shoots and shoots. He has quite a good eye and takes some amazing pix, which has been no surprise considering his talents.

What has been a revelation, however, is what Cj accomplishes when she’s behind the lens. Of course, her model is top-class …

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